Age of hysteria

 Some days you just want to channel Major Clipton, who pronounces the appropriate benediction on his world in the last scene from "The Bridge on the River Kwai."

"Madness," he says, surveying the ruined bridge and a dead Colonel Nicholson. "Madness!"

And with that we take you to the great state of Utah, where the hysteria about transgender athletes has reached some sort of shameful zenith. In one of several states (including Indiana, naturally) where legislation has been proposed to ban transgender athletes from competing in high school sports, the Utah High School Activities Association was compelled by parental complaints to  confirm one of its female athletes was actually female.

The issue, see, was this particular athlete was Just Too Good -- code for, "She kicked our little Susie's ass and we didn't like it."  And so officials dutifully went through her enrollment records, all the way back to kindergarten. And they did that, the legislative representative of the UHSAA explained this week to the Utah lege, because the organization takes all such complaints seriously -- even ones as ridiculous as claiming a certain athlete didn't look "feminine" enough.

What are we doing here, people? I mean, what the hell are we doing?

Imagine for a moment how the girl in question must have felt, having her very girlhood investigated by her own ruling body. The teenage years are fraught enough anyway, and you do this? You question the excellence that so often bolsters the self-esteem so critical for teenagers? And not just her excellence, but her very identity?

Theoretical High School Girl: "I'm really good at this!" 

Theoretical Parents Of High School Girl Who's Not As Good: "Yes, but are you a girl? Are you REALLY?"

For. God's. Sake.

It's something I say a lot these days, along with Major Clipton's benediction. We are neck deep in an age of McCarthy-esque hysteria in America, and sometimes all you can do is shake your head at the madness. Commie socialist teachers indoctrinating our kids with their wily commie-socialist ways! Assigning subversive materials like "Huckleberry Finn," "The Diary of Anne Frank," and "To Kill A Mockingbird"! Mentioning the word "slavery" in an American history class!

Ban it all, dammit. 'Cause if we don't, how will our kids ever learn that America is all about freedom?

The transgender hysteria, meanwhile, courses through those same mad channels. Transgender athletes across the country comprise a number so small as to be statistically insignificant, but, omigod, they're TAKING OVER GIRLS SPORTS!  

Just today, for instance, right-wing foof Clay Travis expressed alarm on the Magic Twitter Thingy that a transgender golfer was "kicking biological women's asses" in an LPGA qualifier. And the headline on the story he linked to in the tweet?

"Biological Male Is In Contention At LPGA Qualifying School After Round 1."

In "contention." Not "kicking asses." Go with God there, Hysteria Boy.

And the case in Utah?

I don't know who the girl is or who her parents are, but if I were her dad I would be absolutely foaming at the mouth at the UHSAA. I would be asking just how silly a complaint would have to be for the association not to take it "seriously." I would be wondering why the UHSAA didn't have my daughter's back, and why they didn't tell the complaining parents in this case to go piss up a rope.

Because that's what a high school athletic association that supported ALL its student-athletes would have done. At least in a world not gone mad.