Football is dumb

 And, no, not just because Kansas, a 31-point dog, beat Texas in overtime Saturday, 57-56, to win a Big 12 roadie for the first time in 13 years and send the Longhorns to their fifth straight loss, which hasn't happened since the Van Buren administration.

OK, so it's only been 65 years since the Hook 'Ems lost five straight. But you get the idea.

The idea being, football is dumb, especially this year. You can't count on anything or anyone to do what they're supposed to, on either Saturday or Sunday.

I mean, who picks the winless Lions to tie the Steelers, who'd just won four straight?

Who picks the Browns, who just got done crushing the Bengals, to get blown up by the Patriots, 45-7?

And how do you explain Taylor Heinicke winning a head-to-head with Tom Brady?

Dumb, all of it. The Cowboys get crushed by Denver, then turn around and crush Atlanta, 43-3. Denver crushes the Cowboys, then gets crushed by the Eagles, 30-13. Carolina dusts off cherished heirloom Cam Newton to wallop Arizona, 34-10.  The Vikings beat the Chargers in L.A. 

"But Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "Doesn't all this just mean the NFL has achieved escape-velocity parity? Isn't it a good thing when 'on any given Sunday' becomes more than just an old marketing slogan?"

Well ... maybe. But you know what it actually means?

It means the Patriots are prolly going to the Super Bowl again.

Hey, don't laugh (or shudder). The Pats have won four straight and their only loss since October 10 was 35-29 in overtime to the 7-2 Cowboys. And they're doing it with a rookie quarterback (Mac Jones) who gets better every week and a bunch of guys hardly anyone's heard of, like Kendrick Bourne and Jakobi Meyers and Damien Harris and Rhamondre Stevenson. 

So get ready, boys and girls. You can see it coming, can't you?

Super Bowl LVI. February 13.

Patriots vs. Buccaneers. Brady vs. Belichick.

I know. I just woke up screaming at the thought, too.