And now -- just for you, America, and because EPSN has nothing left to air without regressing to monster truck shows and poker -- it's time for a Spellathon!
Yes, that's right, on this Easter Sunday, a swarm of Bees will descend upon all of us. Bees, that is, as in the Scripps National Spelling Bee. ESPN today is airing Bees of the past beginning at noon today.
(And, no, I have no idea why ESPN starting airing the National Spelling Bee. It's hardly a sport, because they haven't added it to the Olympics yet. But then neither is poker, and ESPN made that one goober in the sunglasses famous by airing that.)
In any case, it's action-packed holiday watching as terrified young people stumble over the second "r" in "pyrrhuloxia." Which, like most of the words in the Bee, is completely made up because the kids in the Bee know all the real words forewords and backwards. Literally.
And so you get words like "bouquetière," and "thamakau" and "caudillismo." Also "ch'a'ckduluth," which is Klingonese for "Damn it's cold in Duluth."
"Wait," the suddenly nervous young speller said. "I was told there would be no Klingon."
Judge Worf merely laughed ...
Of course, I'm lying. "Bouquetiere", "thamakau" and "caudillismo" are actual words, allegedly. And no words with a Klingonese derivation are allowed. Although for some reason it's OK to slip a Vulcan word in there occasionally, just to throw off the generally un-throw-off-able spellers.
Sorry. Lied again.
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