Catching a draft

So it's NFL Draft Day at last, and here I am thinking about David Klingler.

Whatta you mean you don't remember David Klingler?

Why, he used to throw the football all over the lot back when he was playing for the University of Houston Cougars. Threw so many footballs over so many lots, in fact, that the Cincinnati Bengals took him with their first pick in the 1992 NFL draft, which was the No. 6 pick overall.

Alas, David Klingler did not throw the Bengals to any Super Bowl titles. In six NFL seasons, he threw only 16 touchdown passes to go with 22 interceptions, and was out of the game by 1998.

And now I'm thinking of Akili Smith, whom the Bengals took with the third pick in the 1999 draft, and who didn't throw them to any Super Bowls, either. Ditto Jack Thompson and Greg Cook and Carson Palmer, who were also quarterbacks the Bengals took in the first round.

Palmer, at least, turned out to be pretty darn good. Just like this Joe Burrow guy from LSU, who won the Heisman last season and whom the Bengals are expected to take with the No. 1 pick tonight.

That's if they don't Bengal it up. Or Bengal up poor Burrow, which is another distinct possibility.

Because the Bengals are the Bengals, see, they haven't had a whole lot of luck taking quarterbacks with their first pick, Palmer being the notable exception. So if I'm Burrow, maybe I'm kinda-sorta hoping the Bengals do Bengal it up and take, I don't know, Sammy Baugh with the first pick.

Which would be a perfectly fine selection if Sammy Baugh hadn't died 11 years ago.

In any event, this will be the fun part of the Draft, aside from the fact real live news will be happening. No one ever got all giddy anticipating Mel Kiper Jr. raving about Billy "Jack" "Tommy" Thompson's burst or tight skin or how he's no waist-bender, but the times are strange ones. People might actually hang on his every word when he talks about that offensive tackle from Bemidji State the Cowboys just took in the fourth round.

Me?

I won't be watching, because the Draft is boring and, besides, you can follow it online without all the filler commentary. Not that I follow it all that closely anyway. I mean, I am the last guy to come to if you want to know who the Colts are going to take with the 34th pick (it better be a wideout), or if the Lions will Lion it up with the third pick as badly as the Bengals Bengal it up with Joe Burrow.

My prediction: Go with the Lions. It's been a heck of a long time since they drafted Barry Sanders, after all.