Yes, boredom is a receding speck in your rearview mirror, and what lies ahead is a boundless void that seems to stretch into eternity. It's like North Dakota, only emptier. It's like Our Only Available Impeached President's daily coronavirus briefings, which become more bizarre with every day.
Yesterday he brought in the MyPillow Guy to talk about how OOAIP is a blessing from God, so all bets are off now. At this rate, by the end of the week Joe Exotic will be showing up with tigers, claiming they have magical healing powers.
But I digress.
What I mean to say is, you're so bored now your boredom is bored. You've burned through every hour of Ken Burns' 967-hour "Baseball." You've been astounded, speaking of Joe Exotic, by the notion that crazy hillbillies are, you know, crazy (Who knew?). You've watched Keith Smart make The Shot a dozen times, watched Lorenzo Charles convert Dereck Whittenburg's airball, watched Gordon Hayward's last heave cha-cha around the iron and kick away.
But ...
But you haven't seen this.
Yes, live from a Scottish BBC play-by-play broadcaster as bored as you are, it's the World Dog Supper Eating Championship. Of course, just the fact it's a Scottish broadcaster automatically makes it funnier. And those what-ifs!
What if Mabel hadn't taken that worm medicine the night before? What if she hadn't wasted so much energy on tail-wagging?
On such seemingly inconsequential factors championships are lost. Or won.
Meanwhile, in the Blob household, the World Dog Sleeping Championships continue apace:
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