And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the holly-jolly Blob feature Santa leaves under the tree for all children on his nice list, and of which critics have said "That's a damn lie! It's what Santa leaves for Naughty List kids!", and also "You're a lying liar, Liar McLiarson!":
1. THE DALLAS COWBOYS ARE THE GREATEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL TE--
2. Oh. Wait.
3. "Tom Brady is a bleeping cyborg!" (Consensus opinion, 2001-2017).
4. "Tom Brady is the iPhone 3 of cyborgs!" (Consensus opinion, late 2018)
5. "And when did the Patriots replace Rob Gronkowski with a regular run-of-the-mill tight end?" (Also consensus opinion, late 2018)
6. Hey, look, it's the Browns!
7. And they're not Brownsing anymore!
8. Meanwhile, Jared Goff.
9. Has vanished. Like, Gonesville. 'Cause I don't care what you say, that's Nathan Peterman out there in a wig and a fake beard. Like he thought that would fool everyone.
10. "Crap, I thought that would fool everyone!" (Nathan Peterman)
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