And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the excruciatingly regular Blob feature of which critics have said "Quick, invoke the ten-second runoff rule!" and also, "Wait, maybe he'll explain the ten-second runoff rule, because it sure doesn't make any damn sense to us normal people":
1. Hey, look, it's the ten-second runoff rule!
2. (Alternative version: Hey, look, it's a 59-minute, 52-second football game!)
3. Sorry, Lions.
4. Yes, we know there are still eight seconds on the clock.
5. No, you can't use them.
6. In other news, the Colts!
7. Wo-- OK, so didn't lose!
8. For the last time: Tom Brady is a cyborg.
9. Also, Case Keenum is a real boy now.
10. The Bears won. The Jaguars won. The Giants scored. The Seahawks ("Super Bowl team! You bet" -- Football analysts everywhere) continue to play like the PAL mite division Seahawks. And rivers ran backward, and the sun rose in the west, and whales quoted Shakespeare.
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