Hail to the conceivable

 So it's not inconceivable the Crimson Tide could pull the upset ...

-- Me, 24 hours ago

I was wrong. It was inconceivable.

-- Me, today

And, yes, yes, yes, YES, Indiana fans. Feel free to pile on.

I thought the Hoosiers were good enough to beat a three-loss Alabama team. I didn't think they were good enough (or Alabama bad enough) to turn the Crimson Tide into a chew toy.

I thought they'd win by five. They won by 35.

By 35?? And they said WE didn't belong in the playoff!

-- Tulane and James Madison, who lost by 31 and 17, respectively

Yes, indeed, you two. Gloat away.

But while you're gloating, contemplate what happened last night in the lee of those famous Shining San Gabriel Mountains. Indiana -- playing in its biggest game, well, ever -- was virtually flawless. It rushed for 215 yards, averaging 4.3 yards per carry, and held Alabama to 23 (1.4 ypc). It outgained the Crimson Tide 407 yards to 193, piled up twice as many first downs (22-11), won time of possession by almost nine minutes (34:21-25:39).

Heisman Trophy winner Fernando Mendoza, meanwhile, had more touchdown passes (3) than incompletions (2, in a 14-of-16 night). Kaelon Black ran for 99 yards and Roman Hemby for 89, averaging 6.6 and 4.9 yards per carry, respectively. And the Hoosiers had a virtually clean sheet on the infraction side: One penalty for 10 yards, and zero turnovers.

In other words, they were who they've been all season: A superbly focused, superbly prepared team that doesn't beat itself. 

That's why this one was over by halftime, when the Hoosiers led 17-0, and maybe even by the 10:49 mark of the second quarter, when Mendoza found Charlie Becker from 21 yards out to make it a 10-0 game. Indiana wasn't going to hand back those leads; Alabama would have to overcome them itself. And Alabama couldn't.

And so Indiana 38, 'Bama 3 at the finish. It was the first Rose Bowl win in Indiana football's less-than-decorous 138-year history, and its first bowl victory of any kind since the Hoosiers won the Copper Bowl 35 years ago.

38-3! I bet Paul Finebaum and the rest of the SEC shills are eating a big ol' plate of crow.

-- America

Are (chewing noises) not (more chewing noises)!

-- Paul Finebaum and the rest of the SEC shills, eating a big ol' plate of crow.

So what's next?

What's next is a rematch with Oregon, whom the Hoosiers beat by 10 in Eugene back in  October. If they repeat that performance, they'll be playing for the national championship against either 10th-seeded Miami, who knocked out 2-seed Ohio State on New Year's Eve in the Cotton Bowl, or six-seed Ole Miss, who upset 3-seed Georgia in the Sugar Bowl last night.

My prediction?

I'm not making any. Not yet.

Coward!

-- Indiana fans

That's conceivable.

-- Me

A Rose, with thorns

 Omens are dark and soulless things if you believe in them, but only if you believe in them. And right now, at the dawn of a new and probably even more insane year,  the Blob refuses to do so.

Which means I do not think Ohio State's flameout against Miami in the Cotton Bowl last night bodes anything in particular for Indiana in the Rose Bowl today.

The usual trolls were out in force this morning after the Hurricanes paved the Buckeyes 24-14, saying the Big Ten was overrated like they all said, and therefore undefeated and No. 1 Indiana is destined to go down to mighty three-loss Alabama of the mighty SEC. One internet creature even said the Buckeyes' loss convinced him to jack his prediction from Alabama by 10 to Alabama by 17.

Why? Well, because the Big Ten sucks and the Mighty SEC is a juggernaut juggenaut-ing its way over every other loser conference in college football.

The Blob is a firm non-believer in that doctrine. 

I'm a firm non-believer because the Big Ten has already whipped up on several SEC schools this bowl season, to begin with. And I'm a firm non-believer because the dynamics of every game hit different because every team in those games is different. 

Against Miami, for instance, the Buckeyes faced a team that could match them physically up front -- just as they did against Indiana in the Big Ten championship game. They also faced a team that, since being surprised by SMU on Nov. 1, had crushed everything in its path, outscoring its opponents 161-44. That included a first-round CFP silencing of Texas A&M, which came in averaging 34 points per game and managed just three in a 10-3 loss to the Hurricanes.

In their previous five games, the 'Canes had held opponents to a tick under nine points per. Ohio State's O-line, on the other hand, had been exposed by Indiana, which sacked Julian Sayin five times and registered nine tackles for loss. So it perhaps figured the Bucks were going to have trouble with Miami's voracious D.

The game this afternoon?

It says here Indiana should win, because the Hoosiers simply are objectively better. They also can run the football if they have to, and Alabama cannot. In its 34-24 win over Oklahoma in a first-round CFP game, the Crimson Tide scratched out just 28 yards on 25 carries. That's a robust 1.1 yards per attempt.

The Sooners, meanwhile, blew a 17-point lead, giving up 27 straight points and handing 'Bama some early Christmas gifts: A punt that was blocked, another punt that was fumbled, and a pick six. That sort of unraveling isn't likely to happen against Indiana, a profoundly focused team which rarely makes mistakes and never beats itself.  

This does not mean the Rose Bowl will be without thorns for the Hoosiers, however. It doesn't even mean they'll win, because Alabama has its usual complement of deluxe skill players. So it's not inconceivable the Crimson Tide could pull the upset and set the internet trolls to trolling again.

However ...

However, the Blob sees this in his murky crystal ball: Indiana 26, Alabama 21.

Onward.

Resolved

 (Interior monologue, 8:17 a.m., January 1, 2026 ...)

"You're not really gonna do this, are you?"

"Do what?"

"The whole New Year's resolution thing. Come on, say you're not."

"Well ..."

"Oh, please! It's the most lame, hackneyed, unoriginal bit ever! You're better than that! And you don't how it kills me to say so!"

"Yeah, but ..."

"Omigod. You ARE! You ARE going to do it! And I suppose you're also going to drag out your same old lame, hackneyed line about 2026 kicking 2025 out on its treacherous ass, too, aren't you?"

"Well ..."

Well. So here we are.

Mere hours after 2026 kicked 2025 out on its treacherous ass.

A time for sober reflection, for re-assessing, for taking the measure of things. A time for  looking back and ahead at the same time, like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

OK. So maybe not exactly like that.

Actually, it's more a time when we resolve to do better, to be the best version of ourselves, and all the other New Year's Day junk that sounds really noble until you come back from the gym on January 2 and resolve never to do that again. 

And for me, personally?

It means the following:

I resolve not to look at the Hunts leaving Arrowhead Stadium for new digs across the state line in Kansas, and wonder for the eleventy-hundredth time why the taxpayers are footing part of the bill (in this case, about $600 million of it) when the Hunts are worth $24.8 billion and can PAY FOR THE DAMN THING THEMSELVES, THE FREELOADING BAST-

Sorry. Got a trifle carried away there. I resolve to stop doing that.

I also resolve to not pull my hair out yet again over what a mess college sports are these days. The latest? Some 7-foot basketball player from Nigeria was granted college eligibility even though he was taken with the 31st pick in the 2023 NBA draft and has played pro ball in Europe the last five years. 

His name is James Nnaji, and he's headed to Baylor. Now, the NCAA has decreed that no player under contract to an NBA team will be allowed to do what they're allowing Nnaji to do. But the guy's still a pro, and so you know -- you just know -- that sooner or later some kid from overseas who's signed with an NBA team will lawyer up and challenge that inequity. And he'll win because it's the NCAA and the NCAA always loses these things.

And so pretty soon Luka Doncic will be suiting up for, I don't know, Purdue or someone, and Nikola Jokic and Victor Wembanyama will be squaring off for Duke and North Carolina, respectively.

I resolve not to scream and yell and throw things at the TV if that happens. And, yes, I already know that one's goin' down.

So what else do I resolve?

I resolve not to write about the impending Travis Kelce-Taylor Swift nuptials more than eleventy-hundred times -- unless, that is, Travis decides to play another year, in which case all bets are off.

I also resolve to not post stuff about my sorry-ass Pittsburgh Cruds baseball team more than eleventy-hundred times. Or have a T-shirt made that says "Free Paul Skenes" and wear it around all summer.

(Notice I said, "ALL summer." Loopholes are fun.)

I resolve not to grumble and make old-man noises about the NHL playing the outdoor 2026 Winter Classic in FREAKING MIAMI tomorrow. I mean, the only ice in Miami this time of year -- or any time of year, really -- is in a mojito. Playing the Winter Classic there is stupid beyond the galactic boundaries of stupidity. What will the teams' throwback unis be, board shorts and tank tops? Will Coppertone be a sponsor? Wil-

Aw, crap. I'm already grumbling and making old-man noises. Well, that resolution was never going to see another sunrise, anyway.

Same goes for any and all resolutions that involve the NFL's kickoff rules; baseball's extra-innings rules (and that proposed Golden At-Bat rule, ridiculousness cubed); MMA fights on the White House lawn;  President Fearless Leader's proposed Patriot Games, which sound vaguely creepy in a Hitler Youth Games sort of way; and (choose one) the Trump World Cup , the Trump World Series, the Trump Indianapolis 500, the Trump Super Bowl and the Trump Masters featuring Trump's Creek, Trump Amen Corner and the Trump Cathedral of Pines.

I resolve not to let my head explode over any of it.

Aw, crap. Too late.

Coachin' 'em up

 Caleb Williams came thisclose to beating the surging 49ers on the coast the other night, in one of those who-has-the-ball-last 42-38 shootouts. That he, and the Chicago Bears, failed on an incompletion into the end zone from the 2-yard line is no discredit to them, however.

The 49ers, after all, are on track to be the top seed in the NFC, unless it's the Seattle Seahawks. And the Bears just clinched the NFC North title for the first time in seven years.

And, yes, one of the big reasons they've done -- gone from 5-12 a year ago to 11-5 with one game left in the season -- because Caleb Williams has become an elite QB virtually overnight.

Checked all the boxes, the second-year pro has. Thrown for 3,730 yards and 25 touchdowns for a team built on defense and the run game. Turned it over just eight times in 16 games -- six picks and two lost fumbles. Been Mr. Clutch in the fourth quarter, leading the Bears to six come-from-behind wins in the last two minutes.

Know what else?

He's only been sacked 23 times. That's a whopping 45 fewer sacks than he took last year.

You can put that down to a number of factors, not the least of which are improved maturity and an improved offensive line. But mainly you can put it down to two words: Ben Johnson.

The first-year head coach has retooled a Bears offense that last year ranked 28th in the league in points and dead last in total yards. This year? With one game left to play, it ranks  ranks 10th in the former (26.6 ppg) and third in the latter (377.75 ypg). 

A lot of that unquestionably is because of the way Johnson, a noted quarterback whisperer, has coached up Williams.  If that suggests the right coach can work wonders with an NFL quarterback -- especially a young one -- well, you're damn right he can. Numerous examples exist.

Baker Mayfield, for instance, was a bust in Cleveland but, once released from captivity, became a solid citizen in Tampa Bay. Sam Darnold found new life in Minnesota after escaping the crash site that is the New York Jets. And Drake Maye, Bo Nix and Brock Purdy landed in exactly the right situation when they wound up in, respectively, New England with Mike Vrabel, Denver with Sean Payton and San Fran with Kyle Shanahan. 

All of them are thriving. As is Caleb Williams -- whom at times last year you could be forgiven for thinking was just another bust in a seemingly infinite congo line of Bears QB busts.

And then ...

And then Ben Johnson arrived. And suddenly Caleb Williams went from being the next Peter Tom Willis to being ... well, to being the Caleb Williams the Bears saw when they took him with the No. 1 pick in 2024.

Amazing. 

Or, you know, not.

A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 17

 And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words -- the turning-over-a-new-leaf Blob feature which throws out the old and welcomes in the new, and of which critics have said "Throwing out! What a great idea!", and also, "You wanna see throwing out? Come up to the 52nd floor and I'll throw you outta this window!":

1. "No Chiefs? Woo-hoo, it's finally out with the old and in with OUR YEAR!" (Bills fans)

2. "Twelve points? Whatta you mean we only scored 12 points?" (Also Bills fans, after the Eagles marched into Buffalo and beat Josh Allen 'n' them 13-12)

3. Meanwhile, the Colts!

4. Lost their sixth straight game and seventh in the last eight as Philip Rivers remembered he was 44 years old. Eliminated from the playoffs after starting 8-2, leading the division and seemingly turning over a new leaf after years of late-season collapse and failure. 

5. "Geez, it only seems like yesterday that we were 8-2, leading the division and were seemingly turning over a new leaf after years of late-season collapse and failure." (The Colts).

6. "Geez, same old Colts." (Colts fans, sighing, shaking their heads and shucking off their game-worn Mike Vanderjagt jerseys)

7.  In other news, the Giants crushed the Raiders in Vegas to (seemingly) lock up the No. 1 pick in the draft for the home team; the Patriots crushed the Jets in New York to lock up the AFC East title; the Seahawks crushed the Panthers in Charlotte; and -- wait, what's this? The Browns beat the Steelers in Cleveland, 13-6? 

8. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, Rodgers! Also Big Ben, and  Mason Rudolph, and, I don't know, the 2,000 or so other Steelers who've beaten us like a throw rug for entire eons!" (Browns fans)

9. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, America!" (The Patriots)

10. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, NFL Draft!" (The Giants)

A labor of shenanigans

 Well, that didn't take long. Surprise, surprise.

Two days after the Fort Wayne Komets and the rest of the ECHL's workforce went on strike, the supposedly unresolvable conflict between the league and the Professional Hockey Players Association was resolved. It was magic, I tell you, magic!

Or, you know, not.

Actually it was your typical labor/management shenanigans, which have a long and splendidly phony history. The players demand changes. The owners plead poverty. The players say, bullpucky, you're sitting on more dough than the GNP of Luxembourg, and we're not getting our cut. The owners say the players aren't bargaining in good faith; the players says, nuh-uh, it's the owners who aren't bargaining in good faith,.

And yada-yada, bluster-bluster, everyone follows the well-trodden path. 

The players go on strike.

The owners say it's a damn shame, especially for the fans -- whom they've been sticking it to for years with their king's ransom parking, $200 nosebleeds and $15 Bud Lights, but never mind that now. The fans are getting screwed! By those greedy players!

And then ...

And then, after awhile (or after two days, in this case), everyone sits down and hammers out the deal they likely could have hammered out months ago had everyone not been play-acting for the public and the media.

Now, I don't know if that's exactly how it all went down here. I'm just blue-skyin' it, to be perfectly honest. And so I also don't know if perhaps it only took two days to resolve everything because a few of the players publicly criticized the PHPA -- suggesting there were many more players who weren't happy with the union, either, but just weren't saying so.

Be that as it may, if it only took two days to settle this dispute once the players walked, how much of a dispute could it actually have been? And why couldn't they have settled it before the players walked?

One man's conclusion: They could have. As usual. 

Surprise, surprise.

Missin' out

 BYU beat Georgia Tech 25-21 last night in the Blob's new favorite irrelevant bowl game, the Pop-Tarts Bowl, and too bad for you, Notre Dame. You decided the Pop-Tarts Bowl wasn't worth the net loss, which it probably wasn't. But, hey, man: Sprinkles!

Sprinkles in the end zones. Sprinkles on the sidelines. Sprinkles on the players' helmets.

But no sprinkles for you, Irish!

You missed out, if I may be so bold. You missed out on a Pop-Tart mascot grilling Pop-Tarts on the sideline. You missed out on a chance to hoist the Pop-Tarts Bowl trophy, which, no lie, is an actual working toaster. You missed out on the ritual postgame sacrifice of a couple of Pop-Tarts mascots, who disappeared into a giant toaster and emerged at the bottom (as if by magic!) as a couple of for-real giant Pop-Tarts for the victorious Cougars to feast upon.

What did you feast upon last night, you sons of Erin? I bet it wasn't as good as a giant Frosted Cherry or Frosted Cookies-&-Creme Pop-Tart, which were the two sacrifice-ees to BYU's prodigious appetite.

(Know what else? There was actually a THIRD Pop-Tart scheduled to be sacrificed. But at the last second the Protein Slammin' Strawberry Pop-Tart jumped off the giant toaster and escaped his grisly fate.)

Anyway, too bad for you, Irish. You likely would have smoked BYU had you accepted the expected Pop-Tarts Bowl invite, and that would have been you chowin' down on six feet or so of pure deliciousness. Instead you settled for, I don't know, maybe Arby's instead. 

They have the meats, after all.

But the Pop-Tarts Bowl had the sweets. 

Your loss.