Some election thoughts

 So Election Day is in the rearview now, and thank God for that. No more ads from Candidate A accusing Candidate B of cheating on his taxes, rooting for the Yankees and  throwing little Timmy down the well.

Whew. Enough of THAT nonsense. Besides, everyone knows it was Vivek Ramaswamy who threw little Timmy down the well (and poisoned Lassie!)

And speaking of governor’s races …

Looks like Tommy Tuberville will not be on the list for the Florida State football job.

Instead, the old ball coach was elected governor of Alabama last night, riding a Crimson Tide of loyal  ‘Bama fans, presumably. Anything to get Coach Tommy somewhere he couldn’t beat them anymore.

See, back when Tuberville was coaching Auburn before heading off to say goofy stuff in Congress, he used to beat ‘Bama like a dusty rug. Whupped the Tide six straight times, in fact, on his way to an 85-40 record in 10 seasons with the Tigers.

Now he’s in the governor’s office — where, in honor of the late George Wallace’s time in that chair, he’ll be standing in the schoolhouse door of coherence or some such thing. This is based on his track record in Congress, where he would periodically surface to call American Muslims terrorists, praise white nationalists and say transgender Americans were mentally ill.

But, hey. At least he won’t be coaching Florida State next season. Or Auburn, for that matter.

Which is surely cause for celebration in Tuscaloosa. 

The state capitol (Montgomery) is 103 miles away, after all. Not even Coach Tommy can kick the Tide around from there.