Tiger Woods rolled his Land Rover the other day down in Florida, got clipped for misdemeanor DUI and sat in a jail cell for eight hours, and I think I've figured out what he needs right now.
No, not more rehab from his latest back surgery.
What he needs is driver's ed.
This is, after all, the fourth time he's crashed a motor vehicle since 2009, and the second time he caught a DUI charge for it. The last crash before this one was a doozy, smashing the hell out of his leg and likely ending his time as a serious competitive golfer. It was also the stupidest; he was doing 85 or 90 on a twisty stretch of California road where the listed speed limit was 45.
In this latest incident, he was speeding along a road not far from his Jupiter, Fla., home when he came up on a truck towing a pressure cleaner, swerved to try to pass it, and nudged the trailer just enough to flip his vehicle on its side. No one was injured, but this latest return to automotive Bogeyville came amid growing speculation that Woods would attempt to play the Masters in a couple of weeks.
Or, you know, not.
He's 50 years old, his body's a surgical Erector set, and he apparently can't drive for doody. The last, of course, has no impact on whether or not he can still play golf like anything more than the ghost of himself. But rental car companies around Augusta, Ga., no doubt already have his picture up.
And, no, not with a caption of him saying, "When I'm looking for a good rollover plan, I choose Enterprise."
More likely, it's "Under no circumstances rent this man a vehicle. He crashes more than (IndyCar driver) Sting Ray Robb."
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