Bigotry in disguise

 So I see the Felon in Chief waved his Magic Executive Order Wand again the other day and banished transgender athletes to the nether regions, which he's not empowered to do but did anyway. Afterward, he announced the "war on women's sports" by those freaky vandals was officially over.

Well, that's a relief.

I used to lie awake at night wondering when some icky transgender was going to take Caitlin Clark's job.

I also used to wonder when I would go to a girls high school basketball game or volleyball match or swim meet and see no REAL GIRLS out there anymore, because boys posing as girls had taken all their spots.

Thank god the Felon and ideological brethren like our Bible-thumping reverend/lieutenant governor Micah Beckwith -- who the other day championed Indiana's own version of the transgender athlete ban -- were on the case.

I feel better now. Female athletes can feel better. Heck, Caitlin Clark can feel better, knowing some Stephanie Curry won't be coming for her job.

Now if only the Felon and the Rev and their ilk would do something about all the dolphins taking over Olympic swimming.

"Oh, please,"  you're saying now. "That's a ridiculous analogy. There are no dolphins in Olympic swimming -- although the jury's still out on Michael Phelps."

Yeah? Well, maybe you're just not paying attention.

Dolphins are everywhere in Olympic swimming these days, cleverly made up to look like humans. Why, the evidence is irrefutable. You think Katie Ledecky is a real human? Aw, HELL, no. The woman is Flipper.

The Blob stands foursquare against such trans-species perversion. Now it's time for America to address this serious threat to fair athletic competition, too.

He said, tongue deeply imbedded in cheek.

Because, listen, claiming dolphins pose a threat to Olympic swimming is ridiculous. Of course it is. But it's not a very long jaunt down Ridiculous Street from that to what the Felon and the Rev have been saying about transgenders taking over women's sports.

"No more robbing girls of championships, scholarships, and lifelong dreams," the Rev tweeted the other day. "This bill (HB1041) exists because we've watched biological males ... shatter girls records that took years of dedication to achieve! Dominate competitions, leaving female athletes demoralized! Snatch college scholarships that were meant to empower young women!"*

(*Exclamation points mine)

And now for the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey used to say.

All those icky transgender athletes shattering girls records and demoralizing female athletes and stealing scholarships?

They must really get around, because there are hardly any of 'em.

Two months ago, for instance, NCAA President Charlie Baker testified he knew of only ten or so transgender athletes among the NCAA's 510,000 student-athletes. Moreover, guidelines exist in both national and international sports -- testosterone levels and what-not -- to safeguard against exactly the sort of sky-is-falling scenarios the Felon and the Rev falsely present.

And if transgenders really are "taking over girls and women's sports", how come the research shows states permitting them to compete have more girls competing in sports than states that ban them?

So ... yeah. Hysteria, all of this. Solution in search of a problem. Bigotry dressed up as fairness, because folks like the Felon and the Rev apparently do think transgenders are icky and freaky and perverted, and want to keep them marginalized by banning them from sports under the guise of "protecting" girls from imaginary threats.

Me?

Only experience I've had with a transgender athlete was years ago, when I covered the U.S. Clay Courts in Indianapolis. One afternoon I covered a match between Chris Evert and Renee Richards, who was named Richard Raskind before he had underwent gender-affirming care.

Now, Raskind was a decent athlete who played tennis at Yale and was a good enough baseball player to bring the Yankees sniffing around. So according to the anti-transgender narrative, Renee Richards was therefore a threat to women's tennis because surely the former Richard Raskind would mop the floor with all those defenseless girls, steal their records and championships, and utterly demoralize them.

Ahem, no. Instead, Evert mopped the floor with Richards in straight sets. At the time, Richards was at the tail end of five seasons on the women's pro circuit, during which she was never ranked higher than 20th in the world and never came close to winning a major. 

So much for taking over women's sports.

Those dolphins, though, man. Now there's a real problem.