I know what I'm supposed to do here, as a card-carrying geezer/codger. I'm supposed to think Mike Tyson, also a geezer/codger, has mystical geezer/codger powers that will carry the day tomorrow in Arlington, Texas.
I'm supposed to think he's going to be the threshing machine of yore who had opponents reaching for the canvas before they even climbed in the ring with him. Or that at some point he'll bring a sledgehammer hook that starts in Corsicana and winds up knocking Jake Paul into the middle of December.
Love to see it, and not just because of geezer/codger bias. Don't think I will.
Don't think I will, because Jake Paul is 27 years old and is currently a pro fighter (of sorts), and Mike Tyson is 58 and hasn't been in a ring in almost 20 years. It's why I also think this whole thing is a made-for-Netflix reality show and not an actual athletic competition, and a farce reminiscent of that time Muhammad Ali fought a professional wrestler.
Now, I won't go so far as to say there's a script. But if you believe it's going to be over the first time Tyson hits Paul so hard his head detaches like the saucer section of the Enterprise, you're going to be sadly disappointed. There'll be no first-round knockout this time for Iron Mike.
No, I think it's more likely they'll trade a few non-nuclear punches until Tyson's 58-year-old legs go away, and then Paul will hit him and Tyson will go down. Or they'll just wallow around to an ultimately unsatisfying end.
After which everyone who should have known better will cry, "We should have known better!"
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, there is a chance I could be wrong. And that's why you'll watch.
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