Rhymin' time!

 It's Valentine's Day, Blobophiles, and you know what we got for you? 

"Your timely demise?" you're saying.

No! Gushy poems! (Or "poimes", if you prefer pronouncing it that way)

And, yeah, I know what a character in a Dan Jenkins novel once said: "Don't write me nothin' that rhymes." Ordinarily, I would agree. But it's Valentine's Day, and I'm all out of hearts and flowers. So here are a few Sportsball World poimes to make you never want to visit this Blob again:

* You remember a few days back, when Formula One told the Andrettis it didn't need one of the most revered names in motorsport joinin' the club? Well, here's the love poime that accompanied that:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

We don't need your kind here,

So kindly get screwed.

* The Super Bowl just played Vegas, and the Raiders are now in Vegas, so apparently the NFL loves Vegas now. And of course everything that comes with Vegas, such as gambling, which Roger Goodell still says is very, very bad even as his league rakes in jack from all those sponsoring online gambling sites. And so ...

Roses are red,

And gamblin' is bad.

Except, well, not really,

When there's dough to be had.

* Travis Kelce apparently issued a public apology for chest-bumping Andy Reid and screaming at him on the sidelines during the Super Bowl, for which he was rightly castigated as a giant douche. Apparently he has calmed down now, though, and realizes that wasn't cool ...

Roses are red,

I'm so sad we got tense.

Now please do not scheme me

Out of your o-ffense.

* Purdue is 22-2 now against the toughest schedule in the country, which has attracted the sort of sour-grapes sniping that always seems to follow such success. This has especially centered on 7-4 center Zach "He's Just Big" Edey, who seems remarkably unperturbed by all the putdowns ... 

Roses red,

And you're right I'm just tall.

But from up here, you know what?

I can't hear you at all.

* Alabama just hired another former IU assistant (Nick Sheridan), which means Tuscaloosa is now B-town South. This must frost Crimson Tide Nation's cookies, given Alabama's storied heritage and Indiana's, well, less than storied heritage. But new head coach Kalen DeBoer (another former IU assistant) has some soothing words ...

Roses are red,

And don't look so morose-o.

'Cause our new quarterback

Is named Harry Gonso.

And last but not least ...

* The NBA All-Star Weekend is coming to Indy this week, and among the State of the Association topics might be all the points teams are piling up this season. No one, it seems, is playing any defense. Which of course will prompt commissioner Adam Silver (code name: "Nosferatu") to send out this valentine to grumbly fans ...

Roses are red,

We do so D-up some.

Oh, look, there goes Luka 

Hitting a 3-ball from his bum.