Money for nothin'

 ... and, no, I can't tell you if Jimbo Fisher gets his chicks for free. Only Dire Straits knows that, and they ain't talkin'.

What I do know is the money-for-nothin' part is absolutely true, and ol' Jimbo's gonna be stackin' it for awhile. That's because Texas A&M cut him loose as its football coach yesterday, which means it's on the hook for a record $76 million of the gargantuan contract it for some reason decided to pay him.

Which further means Jimbo will be cashing $7.2 million checks from A&M every year through 2031. Nice non-work if you can get it.

"Wow," you're saying now. "Jimbo must have been a really awful coach if A&M is willing to pay him that much money for that long just so he'll go away."

Well ... not really. Jimbo won. He was 45-25 in just shy of six seasons at A&M. Took the Aggies to wins in the Gator Bowl, Texas Bowl and Orange Bowl during that time. Beat No. 1 Alabama in 2021. And the day before A&M cut him loose, the Aggies hammered Mississippi State 51-10.

Fired after a 51-10 win. There's one for the archives.

The problem here, it seems, is not Jimbo Fisher. It's Texas A&M. Like a lot of folks in Texas, it has an inflated sense of itself, and (this being Texas) that especially applies to football. The hierarchy in College Station seems to think they're Texas or Alabama or Georgia, or perhaps Ohio State or Michigan. They're not, but that's apparently how they see themselves.

That's why they threw a massive wad at Jimbo to lure him away from Florida State. It's why, in 2021, they re-upped him for $95 million over 10 years because they thought LSU was going to poach him. 

LSU poached Brian Kelly from Notre Dame instead. And now, just two years after demonstrably declaring Jimbo was their guy (and keep your mitts off, LSU), A&M is showing him the door. 

In the midst of another winning season. After a 51-10 win.

The A&M AD's explanation is the program is "stuck in neutral," which I guess is another way of saying "He hasn't turned us into Alabama or one of them others yet."  You'd think this late in the day they'd have let Jimbo finish out the season before firing him, but apparently the hierarchy is just that eager to find the next guy who won't turn them into Alabama or one of them others.

In the meantime, we're left to contemplate once again how far big-boy college football has strayed from the old student-athlete model. Because when you're paying someone nine or ten mill a year to coach your football team, you're not paying him to educate. You're paying him to be the CEO of an immensely profitable corporation, and your student-athletes aren't student-athletes but employees.

And if the corporation's not as immensely profitable as the board of directors (i.e., the administration) think it should be, they'll pay him millions to go away -- because, priorities.

Did we say priorities?

Well, the interesting backdrop to Fisher's firing is what's happening in Bloomington, In., these days, where it's been pretty much an article of faith that Indiana football coach Tom Allen has been a dead man walking for awhile. And he probably sealed his fate with that awful rollover-and-crash Saturday in Champaign, when the Hoosiers turned a 27-12 lead over a not-very-good Illinois team into a 48-45 loss in overtime.

That ended IU's admittedly slim chance at a bowl game. And it likely leaves Indiana with having to cough up $20 million if it wants to buy out the rest of Allen's deal. A lot of folks figure IU can't afford to do that, and its moneybags alums will balk at doing it because ... well, it's only football. 

Of course, Indiana doesn't think it's Alabama or Georgia, either. Simple competence will do. And $20 million for simple competence is a lot of money.

To which Texas A&M could only respond one way:

Twenty million, you say?

Hold my beer.