Throwdown time

 We're two games deep in the superfluous NFL preseason now, and you know what that means, Blobophiles.

Come on down, drunks throwin' down!

Yes, that fine end product of malted beverages, team jerseys and excessive testosterone produced the inevitable in San Francisco the other night, when the 49ers played the Broncos and fan enthusiasm was so high guys in Niners and Broncos jerseys started punching one another in the face. Hell, some guys in Niners jerseys were punching other guys in Niners jerseys, they were so excited to have the NFL back.

And this was preseason, when the games don't even count! Don't try to tell me the NFL doesn't have the most passionate fan base in sports, boys and girls.

Now, the Blob bears no grudge against passionate fan bases, but what happened in San Francisco is a big reason why you'll never catch me at an NFL game. One, I couldn't afford the parking, let alone the tickets and concessions. Two, if I could afford the tickets, it would have to be the nosebleed seats where the drunks in their team jerseys live.

Which means, three, I'd have to wear a full-face helmet, body armor and a rainsuit as protection from the flying fists and beer.  And I hate wearing all that in public.

You know the NFL's motto, right? "Football, Fun and Kevlar"?

Whenever I see fights break out in the stands at a sporting event, I always wonder what triggered the flying fists. Given the presumed level of intoxication, I figure it's not some high-minded disagreement over macroeconomics, or the geopolitical implications of Swiss aggression against its neighbors.

Likely it's sounds like this:

"Niners suck!"

"Broncos suck!"

"Brock Purdy sucks!"

"Sean Payton sucks!"

"You suck!"

"No, YOU suck!"

"Your mother su-"

At which point the discourse ends and the punches begin.

As, way down there on the field, some dude the Niners will cut next week runs for two yards and gets tackled by some dude the Broncos will cut next week.

Such fun.