Saw the news on the Magic Interwhatsis that the Indianapolis Colts are officially shopping their abruptly disgruntled All-Pro running back, and here's where the Blob makes one of its famously quirky side trips.
Remember those GI footlocker toy soldier sets they used to sell in comic books?
("Wait ... WHAT??" you're saying)
Well, I do. The ads for them always included a list of what the footlocker included -- soldiers, tanks, jeeps, everything but latrines -- topped by some form of the phrase "Here's what you get, kids!"
It suddenly occurs to me the Colts could present such a list to Anthony Richardson, the prize first-round QB they're planning on shoving straight into the fire even though he's barely 21 years old and has played only 14 games since high school. I figure it would read something like this:
Welcome, Anthony Richardson, to your Indianapolis Colts GI footlocker! Here's what you get, kid!
* A receiving corps straight off the side of a milk carton.
* A high-priced offensive line that suddenly forgot how to block as soon as it became high-priced.
* One (1) All-Pro running back who's coming off an ankle inju-
Oh, wait. Forgot. We're gonna trade him. Instead, you get:
* One (1) Evan Hull.
Yikes. I mean, the least the Colts could have done is throw in an extra jeep or halftrack.
Instead, they're shopping Jonathan Taylor, Mr. Abruptly Disgruntled, because they won't give him a new deal before his old one runs out. Which frankly seems a trifle uncharitable given what he's done on his rookie deal.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, Taylor has a nimrod for an agent. He actually thinks, or seems to, that there's a market for running backs that will pay Taylor more than he could get from the Colts. This means Taylor's agent apparently lives in a sensory deprivation chamber, because even people who think the NFL stands for .Naturally Fluoridated Lager know running backs now have the approximate value of your Uncle Merle's bottlecap collection.
Still, Taylor is Taylor, and Evan Hull. a fifth-round rook out of Northwestern is not. Neither is Deon Jackson, the presumptive No. 1 back. Neither is Kenyan Drake, a journeyman the Colts picked up on the side of the road. Those are Anthony Richardson's top weapons at running back now.
No matter. The Colts are gonna throw AR out there anyway. Hell, they're so confident his physical gifts will overcome all obstacles (self-inflicted and otherwise) they didn't even play him a down in the second preseason game -- pissing off the home fans who jammed Lucas Oil Stadium presumably to see Richardson take a few snaps.
"But Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "Shouldn't a 21-year-old with next to no college experience be getting all the live snaps he can?"
Yes, you would think. But I guess they don't want to risk him getting hurt before he gets hurt in the regular season running for his life looking for a receiver or running back defenses are obliged to respect.
"But ... if they're worried about him getting hurt, why didn't they find some more receiving threats in the offseason?" you're saying. "Why didn't they lock up Jonathan Taylor before everything got sour? Hell, if you're worried about a guy getting hurt in the NFL, where everyone eventually gets hurt, why even draft him?"
Damn. You guys ask really good questions.
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