Time now to check in with my Pittsburgh Pirates, who have been tormenting their fans with unnerving outbreaks of competence, but who now have lost seven in a row and are sinking ever closer to their ancestral home in the NL Central cellar ...
But enough about the fact they're 14-29 since their cruelly deceptive 20-8 start.
Let's talk about how my Cruds have finally, inevitably, driven someone to drink.
No, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about the driver of their team bus — who was pulled over and subsequently arrested for drunk driving on I-94 in Chicago after a recent loss to the Cubs.
No, I am not making that up. And, no, I'm not trying to make light of it, because a drunk driver behind the wheel of a bus should scare the bejeezus out of all of us.
That's not funny. Even if it kinda is.
Because, listen, this has to be one of the most Crud things ever. Not only does the team suck, it couldn't even find a sober bus driver. How utterly hopeless is that?
And, again, thank God no one got hurt -- including my Cruds, who are only playing like they’re hurt, having lost 10 of their last 12 games and sunk to third in the division, half a game in front of the fourth-place Cubs.
Onward.
(With a new bus driver, presumably).
No comments:
Post a Comment