Just desserts

 Major League Baseball threw the book at a sick twist named Trevor Bauer yesterday, and it was one heavy book. Under its domestic violence and sexual assault protocols, it suspended Bauer, who's been on "administrative leave" for the past 99 games, to an additional 324 games.

That's two full seasons to you and me, kids. And that's a record.

It means Bauer, a pitcher of some merit, won't see a big-league mound until 2024 if his appeal of the suspension fails.

He'll be 33 by then and will not have pitched in almost three years.

And that's entirely appropriate.

What would be more appropriate would be putting Bauer in the Graybar Hotel for a stretch, which won't happen because the L.A. District Attorney's Office declined to bring charges back in February. This does not mean charges weren't warranted, mind you. It just means the case was he said/she said, and therefore not enough of a slamdunk for the D.A.'s taste.

Which does not mean the Blob is wrong to call Bauer a "sick twist." We do strive for accuracy here, after all. 

See, Bauer's idea of a romantic sexual encounter involves choking women unconscious and beating them so badly they wind up in the emergency room. That's what happened to a woman in California who had the misfortune to hook up with Bauer a year ago.

She's not the only one. A woman back in Ohio, where Bauer previously played, alleges the same thing. And yet a third woman came out yesterday, claiming in the Washington Post Bauer choked her dozens of times without her consent during sex when they were "dating."

Bauer's defense, essentially, is that the women asked for it. He said they wanted rough sex, and he accommodated them. Now he's suing one of the women, and several media outlets, for defamation.

The Blob's take on that is, once a bully, always a bully.

Look. Let's assume for a moment Bauer is telling the truth when he says he choked and beat up his accusers because they asked him to. Wouldn't a normal male with healthy urges respond by saying "Ewww, no"? Would a normal male with healthy urges instead take that as license to hurt a woman so badly she had to go to the emergency room, as the woman in California did?

"Gee, Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "Would the answer to that be 'No'?"

Indeed it would.

Bauer, on the other hand, did not say no, indicating he pretty obviously gets off on abusing women during sex. I don't know if this means he  has some deep-seated animosity toward women, and where it comes from if so. But I do know a good psychiatrist could make a ton of coin figuring it out.

A woman psychiatrist, preferably.