Faithful followers of the Blob ("'Faithful followers'," you're saying. "Get him") know I occasionally spew irritating bursts of whining about my cruddy baseball team, the Cruddy Pittsburgh Pirates. How they're really just a Triple A team in a major-league body, and how MLB allows their ownership, which is cheaper than a $2 suit, to get away with such larceny.
Well, the Cruds are cruds again this season, firmly settled in their usual abode -- last place in the NL Central -- and already 18 games out of first and 10 games out of next-to-last. But you know what people say about grass.
It's always greener on the other side. At least until you get to the other side.
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Who are taking crudness to new depths, and who have robbed the Blob of its ability to say it roots for the worst team in the National League. Well, not anymore!
No, sir. The D-backs, through sheer will, effort and an abject lack of talent, have seized the throne.
After losing 7-4 to the St. Louis Cardinals last night they're now 22-60, which on July 1 puts them dead last in the NL West. Already they're nearly 30 games out of first (29.5), and a distant 12.5 out of next-to-last.
They're even eight games worse than my Cruds, if you can believe that.
But don't go away. There's more.
Know what their record is since the end of April?
Since the the end of April, they're 8-49. And, no, that's not a misprint.
Eight-and-49!
I can't even imagine what it must be like to play for the D-backs right now, and realize there's still three months of this torture remaining. I can't imagine what it's like to be a fan, burning to a crisp in Arizona's 115-degree heat without even decent baseball to take your mind off it.
Gaaah.
Guess the grass on the Pirates' side of the fence is greener than I thought.
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