Naming rights

Someone's not going to like it. You can take that to the bank and deposit it right now.

However the Football Team Previously Known As The Washington Racial Slurs decides to re-invent itself, someone -- probably a lot of someones -- will say, "You know, as inventions go, this ain't no electric light." Someone -- probably a lot of someones -- will take offense. Someone -- probably a lot of someones -- will say it objectifies, trivializes or marginalizes this, that or the other thing.

I know this because consensus is dead in an America tribalized by belief systems that grow more divorced from reality and perspective every day, led by a president who's divorced from those things himself.

I also know this because the First Rule of Nicknaming is people are always going to hate whatever you come up with.

People where I live, for instance, hated it when the city's new minor-league baseball franchise was named the Wizards. Some even thought it was satanic, because that's just how some people roll here.

Of course, 16 years later, when the team dumped "Wizards" in favor of "TinCaps," people hated that, too. They'd grown used to "Wizards," see. They'd bought the gear. They liked the cute dragon mascot.

So it will be with the Washington Fightin' Appropriations.

No, that's not the official nickname. I just threw that out there. And I've got others.

The Washington Lobbyists. The Washington Fili-Busters. The Washington Died-In-Committees.

The Washington Heat Rash, in honor of what it's like there in August.

Among the more intriguing actual suggestions right now is the Washington Red Tails, which would be a salute to the famed Tuskegee Airmen of World War II. The logo possibilities have already been put out there -- including a silhouette of a P-51 Mustang, which is what the Airmen flew.

Of course, this being the country we are now, some people would hate it. Some would say it trivializes the accomplishments of black men. Some might even say it's racist.

Me?

I don't know. I'm a 65-year-old white guy. I'm also not a Tuskegee Airman.  I've heard those who are still alive and who've been asked, though, say they'd be honored.

Pretty much ends the debate for me.

Not that there is a debate at the moment.

Right now, after all, the Red Tails are about as official as the Fili-Busters. Or the Heat Rash. Or the Senators or Federals or Monuments or Wolves, which are other suggestions that have been bruited about.

Of course, if it's the latter, PETA will probably hate it. They'll say the mascot, Howl, is a cartoonish insult to a proud species.

So it goes.