The New York Yankees shoved the Minnesota Twins' season in front of a train last night, beating those sorry laydowns 5-1 to complete a three-game sweep in which they outscored the Twinkies 23-7 and made that bunch of lutefisk-eating white-flag wavers the only 100-win team in baseball history to get swept in the divisional series.
Ah, crap. Ah, shoot. Ah, a bunch of words I can't say here on a (mostly) family Blob.
I suppose this means we're gonna get these pinstriped happy orifices in the World Series now. Their starting pitching stinks but everyone in their bullpen is suddenly Mariano Freaking Rivera, and everyone in their lineup, even the freaking batboy probably, can hit the baseball a long, long way, and, yeah, yeah, here we go, start up the litany of lore again.
Stupid Yankees. And now they even get to rest up before the ALCS because the Rays jacked around and extended the Astros to a Game 4 last night.
May Lou Gehrig force Babe Ruth to eat so many hotdogs he explodes in a shower of processed meat fragments while the Mick laughs and Joe DiMaggio cuts a deal to buy the meat fragments, sign them and sell them for enormous piles of cash which he will then keep all to himself and not share with anyone, even Yogi Berra.
And to think I used to love October.
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