Incompletion

ESPN rolled out its latest stat geek porn the other day, a ranking of which college football programs are Quarterback U., which are Linebacker U., which are Wide Receiver U. and so on. Much slide-ruling and pocket-protectoring went into it, apparently, and it was all quite lovely.

Well. Except that it was kinda incomplete.

Because of logistical constraints or square-rooting-of-the-hypotenuse time limitations, see, ESPN decided to only judge the various categories based on the last 20 years. This was fine, and didn't detract from the legitimacy of the rankings, but it was a little like teaching an American history course that begins in 1980. So much stuff gets left out.

And so ESPN's ranking of Quarterback U.'s, for instance, was OK as far as it went. But, metaphorically speaking, it left out the Revolution, the Civil War, a couple of World Wars and several other wars. Plus the Founding Fathers, the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison and, you know, guys like that.

Which is why a Texas A&M and a Fresno State made the ranking, but Purdue did not.

This seems odd given that Purdue already has two quarterbacks in the Pro Football Hall of Fame  (Bob Griese and Len Dawson) and another who soon will be (Drew Brees). Also, there is Jim Everett. And Mike Phipps. And Scott Campbell. And Mark Herrmann.

None of them, of course, played in the last 20 years. So I guess they don't count.

Jesse Palmer and Chris Leak, however, do.

These are two guys who played at Florida in the last 20 years, and are presented as evidence for why Florida made ESPN's QB list. Yes, that's right: Jesse Palmer and Chris Leak are mentioned, but not Steve Spurrier, who won the Heisman Trophy in 1966 and is the quarterback who kinda-sorta got the whole Florida quarterback legacy rolling in the first place.

And have we mentioned Alabama?

The Crimson Tide came in at 33rd on the rankings, largely because they haven't exactly been QB rich in the last two decades. But, again, so many pages get left blank when you do that. You never get to mention various other 'Bama QBs, like, oh, I don't know, JOE NAMATH. Or, you know, KENNY STABLER.

Yeesh. It's like writing a history of golf that begins "And then Tiger Woods showed up."  Or a history of the Colts that begins "The Colts arrived in Indianapolis in 1984. And then Peyton Manning showed up."

After which there is no mention that there was this other guy who also played quarterback for the Colts, but not in Indianapolis, and not in a time America either remembers or regards as relevant. Yet this guy was kinda good, too, apparently.

Unitas was his name. Something like that.