Real golf played here

Guys in khakis and fleece pullovers are storming lovely Pebble Beach this weekend, and the golf grannies are clutching their pearls.This is not how a U.S. Open is supposed to behave, they complain. There is not nearly enough suffering. There are not nearly enough triple bogeys, not nearly enough of the best golfers in the world flailing about like weekend hackers.

I don't know about you. But I think the golf grannies need to drink some warm milk and retire to somewhere more appropriate, like perhaps the days of Old and Young Tom Morris.

The Blob has long made sport of the USGA's habit of tricking up U.S. Open courses to the point of absurdity, because the Blob clings to the odd notion that no one wants to see Rory McIlroy play like Rory the air conditioning repair technician from West Hog Wallow Golf Club and Arcade. The best golfers in the world should be allowed to play like the best golfers in the world, to the Blob's way of thinking. Otherwise it's just a weekend at West Hog Wallow, and who wants to see that?

Not me. I'd rather see what we're seeing this weekend, which is Gary Woodland shooting 68-65-69 to sit a stroke up on Justin Rose heading into the final round today.

Woodland's at 11-under and Rose at 10-under for the tournament, through no fault of Pebble Beach's. The rough is still the usual expanse of trackless wilderness it always is at a U.S. Open, and, if there are no windmills or clown mouths like there were at Shinnecock last year, the pin placements have not been designed for easy access.

No, what's happened is the weather, which has been cool and overcast and, most importantly, wind-less. The Scots have a saying -- "If it's nae wind, it's nae golf" -- and that's especially true at an oceanside track like Pebble. Without the wind, it's a different golf course. A score-able golf course.

You'll get no complaints about that from the Blob. Seriously, what would be more memorable today? Seeing Woodland or Rose -- or the imperturbable Brooks Koepka, who sits just adrift of them -- laying down a 65 to win the Open? Or watching someone win it with a 72 after opening rounds of 71-70-71?

The Blob has a word for the latter. It's "borrrr-ing."

Listen. Perhaps the greatest major in history was the 1977 British Open at Turnberry, when Tom Watson shot 65-65 on the weekend to win by a stroke over Jack Nicklaus, who shot 65-66. I don't recall anyone bemoaning the fact that Turnberry gave up those kind of scores. I only remember people saying it might have been the greatest thing they ever saw on a golf course.

So ... enough with the pearl-clutching, grannies. What we're getting this week is the kind of golf we should see in every U.S. Open. Enjoy it, or go commune with the Morrises, Young and Old.

The rest of us ain't got time for y'all. We'll be too busy watching.