Tuesday, August 14, 2018

O('s) my

So, you think your summer is over? (And, OK, if your kids are already going back to school, I guess it is.) Think your prospects for future advancement are as hopeless as a fly's chances for advancement against a 90-mph headwind?

Well. At least you're not the Baltimore Orioles.

Checked in with the un-mighty O's today, and, really, they're not as bad off as you think they are. Oh, no. They're worse off.

See, with roughly six weeks left in the baseball season, they have been officially eliminated from the AL East race. This is because, with 43 games to play, they are now 49 1/2 games behind the front-running Boston Red Sox. Which means they could win every one of their last 43 games, and Boston could lose every one of its last 42, and the Red Sox would still finish seven games ahead of them.

Think about it: Fifty games out, essentially. With six weeks still to play. Why, they could wind up finishing half a season out of first if everything broke right -- or wrong, as the case may be.

Not that all is lost, mind you.

There is, after all, still a chance the un-mighty O's could escape the cellar. There's still a chance they could emerge, blinking and shielding their eyes, from the pitch darkness at the bottom of the East. There's still a chance the sunlight of next-to-last could warm their weary faces.

I mean, come on. It's not like they're 18 games out of it or anything.

They're only 17 1/2.

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