The Tour de France, also known as That One Bicycle Race, ended yesterday on the Champs Elysees, and of course about 12 people on this side of the Atlantic noticed. This is because we are a provincial lot, we Americans, and if there are no Americans up there on the podium, we tend to pay attention to sports that do involve Americans on the podium.
Like, I don't know, professional cornhole, perhaps.
(No, really. I'm not making that up. There actually is such a thing. And, no, I have no earthly idea why).
Anyway ... That One Bicycle Race ended yesterday, and over here we were all so wrought up over professional cornhole or NASCAR or the Greater Velveeta-On-Rye Open, most of us couldn't name the winner on a bet. And so, as a public service, the Blob offers a short multiple-choice quiz to see if anyone can actually identify the winner.
The winner of That One Bicycle Race was ...
A. Pee Wee Herman.
B. Lance Armstrong (secretly entered as a French rider, LeRance Armoire).
C. Some guy named Schwinn.
D. Your paperboy.
E. Eddie the bike messenger.
F. That dude at the gym who ties up the stationary bike for two hours and then never wipes it down when he's done.
The correct answer is "G," for "None of the above."
The correct answer is "Geraint Thomas," who is Welsh, and who rides for Team Sky, and, really, that's pretty much all I know about him.
But he won the flowers and that bowl they give the winner, so he must ride a bike real good. And so hooray for him.
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