And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature downgraded by the National Weather Service to "a minor tropical depression" and described by The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore as "not even worth putting my GoreTex on for":
1. AARP 1, Jaguars 0.
2. Or, "This is how Sammy Baugh/Lou Groza used to do it." (Matt Hasselbeck and Adam Vinatieri).
3. The Bengals!
4. Starring A.J. Green as "A.J. Green," Tyler Eifert as "Tyler Eifert" and "Andy Dalton" as "The Beaver."
5. Phreet. Holding, Buffalo.
6. Phreet. Offsides, Buffalo.
7. Phreet. Pass interference, Buffalo.
8. Phreet. Excessive celebration of his team's 17 penalties, Rex Ryan.
9. Drew Brees is fini--
10. Oh. Wait.
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