Eternally pickin' nits

And Jim Harbaugh thought working for the 49ers made his eyes roll.

Michigan's presumptive savior (Latest in a series! Collect them all! ) was reminded this week that you can never go broke overestimating the NCAA's capacity for obsessing about the inconsequential. Michigan announced Monday it had self-reported four secondary violations, which in actual English means "stuff the NCAA won't punish you for but says is wrong anyway, because, you know, it's its job to think up stuff that's wrong."

Violation No. 1 involved an assistant coach talking about a recruit who hadn't yet signed but was about to.

Violation No. 2 had to do with an autographed helmet and jersey Harbaugh donated to an auction  to benefit suicide prevention and awareness, which ended up being used to assist a scholarship in the name of a student who had committed suicide.

Violation No. 3 was about a prospective student-athlete who was allowed to sit in premium seating at a Michigan hockey game.

Violation No. 4 was something about electronic recruiting materials that apparently had too much specific information about the football program or ... I don't know, something like that.

So, to review: Michigan felt compelled to self-report that someone talked too soon about a kid who was already signing. And that an autographed helmet and jersey legally donated to a fundraiser was used to raise funds. And that a recruit sat in the wrong seat at a hockey game. And that ... oh, hell, I don't even know what that last thing was about.

And your proper response to each of the above?

1. So what?

2. Huh?

3. Oh, for God's sake.

4. Huh? 

(Presented as a public service by the Blob. You're welcome).