Aaaand we have a winner in today's popular Blob category, You Can Stop Digging Now, Moron, aka The Mischief That Happens When Mouths Become Disconnected From Brains.
Come on down, Albert L. Lord!
Who is a trustee at Penn State. And who apparently is in the right place, because the University he serves continues to lead the known universe in blame deflection, lack of accountability and terminal cluelessness.
Which is to say, damn this boy is dumb.
Here, for instance, is what Lord wrote the other day in an e-mail to "The Chronicle of Higher Education":
Running out of sympathy for 35 yr old, so-called victims with 7 digit net worth. Do not understand why they were so prominent in (former Penn State president Graham Spanier's recent) trial.
Just the thing you want to hear from anyone remotely connected to Penn State, where former football assistant/serial pedophile Jerry Sandusky was allowed to prey on young boys for decades thanks to both benign and malicious neglect.
Apologists such as Lord apparently consider Spanier as much a victim of Sandusky as all those young boys, an utterly absurd notion. The financial situation and age of the victims who testified in Spanier's trial, after all, is irrelevant. I doubt whatever "seven-digit net worth" they may have compensates much for the lifetime of nightmares inflicted upon them by a Penn State employee.
I also suspect Lord isn't alone in his sentiments.
I suspect a lot of people at Penn State are tired of Sandusky's victims, even if they won't say so out loud. That's because a lot of people at Penn State have never fully confronted the University's culpability in Sandusky's crimes. There has always been, or seems to have been, a belief in Happy Valley that Sandusky was purely a Sandusky problem. Why, how could Joe Paterno have known? How could the AD have known? How, for goodness' sakes, could poor blameless Graham Spanier have known?
Which ignores the more relevant question: Why didn't they know? Or, in the case of Paterno (who apparently did know for years), why didn't he do something about it?
All of that is not the worst part of this, however. The worst part is that Lord wasn't smart enough to shut up once he'd started digging this particular hole.
Because after saying he was "running out of sympathy" for the "so-called" victims, he went on to compound his idiocy. He hinted that continued sympathy for the victims was the product of that old hobby horse, political correctness:
The notion that there can be only one point of view with respect to all this stuff, and trustees at Penn State should toe a line that reflects the politically correct point of view, is symptomatic of what ails us ... I am tired of victims' getting in the way of clearer thinking and a reasoned approach to who knew what and who did what.
Sorry, Albert. But saying you're "tired of victims' getting in the way" does not mean you're some courageous warrior in the battle against political correctness.
It just means you're an asshole.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Woo pig blam
There could be worse ideas, I suppose. Open Flame Night at the explosives factory, perhaps. Blindfold Ironworking Week. Skydiving For Acrophobes.
But letting college football fans (in the South, no less!) carry concealed firearms into a rockin', full-to-bursting stadium on a lovely autumn afternoon?
That's full-on loony right there.
But by passing a greatly expanded concealed carry law, the state lege in Arkansas just made it OK to do that, at least theoretically. Arkansas Razorbacks players, far saner than their lawmakers, are terrified at the prospect. So is SEC commissioner Greg Sankey, who is pushing for Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium in Fayetteville to be exempt from the law.
The NRA, home office for firearms hysteria, is opposing the exemption, of course. No doubt it would be a terrible infringement on Billy Bob Drunk's Second Amendment rights to ask that he leave the guns at home when he comes to cheer on his Razorbacks.
Me?
I'm remembering a different Saturday afternoon in Fayetteville, one that is now almost 50 years gone. It was Dec. 6, 1969, and No. 1 Texas was playing No. 2 Arkansas in what was touted as the Game of the Century, on account of 1969 was the 100th anniversary of college football.
Texas had James Street and Steve Worster and Darrell Royal's fearsome Wishbone offense. Arkansas had Bill Montgomery and Chuck Dicus and the legendary Frank Broyles. And, oh, yes: The President of the United States would be there.
Richard Nixon, noted football crazy, showed up as the game was starting, dropping from the leaden sky outside the stadium in Marine One. It was a simpler time, then; the president sat outside with the rest of the unwashed, not in some fancy enclosed suite.
It was also a saner time. Very few people would have dreamed of bringing a loaded firearm to the game -- and if he had, he'd have been looked at as the dangerous wacko he'd have been. This is because, in 1969, the Second Amendment meant you had the right to keep a hunting rifle and maybe a handgun or two around the house. It didn't mean you felt some obligation to arm yourself like the 82nd Airborne, to lug your ordnance into Wal-Mart to buy a gallon of milk, to scream "They're coming to take our guns!" every time some lawmaker suggested it might not be a bad idea to tighten background checks.
I'm trying to imagine how many Secret Service heads would explode if, in 2017, President Donald "Donny" Trump suddenly decided he wanted to take in a game in Fayetteville. I'm guessing it would never happen. Donny's too busy playing golf and Making America Filthy Again to care about football -- or baseball, considering he's snubbing the great American tradition of throwing out the first pitch on Opening Day, presumably because he doesn't want to risk embarrassing himself/being booed.
There are a lot of words you could use to describe that. Coward comes most readily to mind.
Not going to Razorback Stadium anymore, however, might simply be prudent. I mean, what could possibly go wrong if a bunch of hardcore tailgaters decided to carry Glocks into the stadium, just in case the terrorists decided to hit a Razorbacks game?
The Arkansas state lege, and its gun lobby masters, no doubt would say you wouldn't have anything to worry about. After all, sports fans -- especially college sports fans, and especially college football fans in the South -- are widely known to be rational and sober on these occasions. Why, just ask John Higgins about that.
John Higgins, who was one of the refs in the Kentucky-North Carolina regional final last Sunday.
John Higgins, who is now receiving death threats from lunatic Kentucky fans who think he somehow did them wrong -- even though, in most of the examples they point out, Higgins actually got the call right.
Yeah, boy. No worries about those people packin' at a game. No, sirree.
But letting college football fans (in the South, no less!) carry concealed firearms into a rockin', full-to-bursting stadium on a lovely autumn afternoon?
That's full-on loony right there.
But by passing a greatly expanded concealed carry law, the state lege in Arkansas just made it OK to do that, at least theoretically. Arkansas Razorbacks players, far saner than their lawmakers, are terrified at the prospect. So is SEC commissioner Greg Sankey, who is pushing for Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium in Fayetteville to be exempt from the law.
The NRA, home office for firearms hysteria, is opposing the exemption, of course. No doubt it would be a terrible infringement on Billy Bob Drunk's Second Amendment rights to ask that he leave the guns at home when he comes to cheer on his Razorbacks.
Me?
I'm remembering a different Saturday afternoon in Fayetteville, one that is now almost 50 years gone. It was Dec. 6, 1969, and No. 1 Texas was playing No. 2 Arkansas in what was touted as the Game of the Century, on account of 1969 was the 100th anniversary of college football.
Texas had James Street and Steve Worster and Darrell Royal's fearsome Wishbone offense. Arkansas had Bill Montgomery and Chuck Dicus and the legendary Frank Broyles. And, oh, yes: The President of the United States would be there.
Richard Nixon, noted football crazy, showed up as the game was starting, dropping from the leaden sky outside the stadium in Marine One. It was a simpler time, then; the president sat outside with the rest of the unwashed, not in some fancy enclosed suite.
It was also a saner time. Very few people would have dreamed of bringing a loaded firearm to the game -- and if he had, he'd have been looked at as the dangerous wacko he'd have been. This is because, in 1969, the Second Amendment meant you had the right to keep a hunting rifle and maybe a handgun or two around the house. It didn't mean you felt some obligation to arm yourself like the 82nd Airborne, to lug your ordnance into Wal-Mart to buy a gallon of milk, to scream "They're coming to take our guns!" every time some lawmaker suggested it might not be a bad idea to tighten background checks.
I'm trying to imagine how many Secret Service heads would explode if, in 2017, President Donald "Donny" Trump suddenly decided he wanted to take in a game in Fayetteville. I'm guessing it would never happen. Donny's too busy playing golf and Making America Filthy Again to care about football -- or baseball, considering he's snubbing the great American tradition of throwing out the first pitch on Opening Day, presumably because he doesn't want to risk embarrassing himself/being booed.
There are a lot of words you could use to describe that. Coward comes most readily to mind.
Not going to Razorback Stadium anymore, however, might simply be prudent. I mean, what could possibly go wrong if a bunch of hardcore tailgaters decided to carry Glocks into the stadium, just in case the terrorists decided to hit a Razorbacks game?
The Arkansas state lege, and its gun lobby masters, no doubt would say you wouldn't have anything to worry about. After all, sports fans -- especially college sports fans, and especially college football fans in the South -- are widely known to be rational and sober on these occasions. Why, just ask John Higgins about that.
John Higgins, who was one of the refs in the Kentucky-North Carolina regional final last Sunday.
John Higgins, who is now receiving death threats from lunatic Kentucky fans who think he somehow did them wrong -- even though, in most of the examples they point out, Higgins actually got the call right.
Yeah, boy. No worries about those people packin' at a game. No, sirree.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
No debate left
Meanwhile, in the NBA ...
Russell Westbrook went for his 38th triple-double of the season last night, putting up 57 points, a record number of points for an NBA triple-double. He's now within striking distance of Oscar Robertson's season record of 41 triple-doubles, set in 1961-62 when Robertson became the only man in NBA history to average a triple-double for the season.
With eight games left in the season, Westbrook is about to become the second. He's averaging 31.8 points, 10.6 rebounds and 10.4 assists per game.
Some people are still debating whether he or James Harden (or LeBron James) should be the league MVP.
The Blob says the debate is over. If Westbrook becomes the first player in 55 seasons to average a triple-double, and only the second player ever to do so, he's your MVP. Period. Because history trumps everything else.
Or should, anyway.
Russell Westbrook went for his 38th triple-double of the season last night, putting up 57 points, a record number of points for an NBA triple-double. He's now within striking distance of Oscar Robertson's season record of 41 triple-doubles, set in 1961-62 when Robertson became the only man in NBA history to average a triple-double for the season.
With eight games left in the season, Westbrook is about to become the second. He's averaging 31.8 points, 10.6 rebounds and 10.4 assists per game.
Some people are still debating whether he or James Harden (or LeBron James) should be the league MVP.
The Blob says the debate is over. If Westbrook becomes the first player in 55 seasons to average a triple-double, and only the second player ever to do so, he's your MVP. Period. Because history trumps everything else.
Or should, anyway.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Puttin' on the common sense
My mother would be proud of USA Hockey today. This is because it finally disproved one of her pet sayings, which she used to employ frequently where her sometimes dopey son was concerned.
"I swear you don't have the sense God gave a goose!" she used to say.
Well, USA Hockey just proved it does, in fact, have the sense God gave a goose.
This is because the organization finally struck a deal with the U.S. women's hockey team it should have struck a long time ago, because it was simply and obviously the right thing to do. The defending world champions, and perennial top-two-in-the-world team, finally got treated the way a team of its stature should get treated.
Which is, as equals to the men.
Key to the new deal was not just a hike in pay, after all, but the explicit acknowledgement that the women's value, even as world champs, was not inherently less than that of the men. For the first time, USA Hockey will pay women's team performance bonuses. And for the first time, the women will get the same level of travel arrangements and insurance coverage as the men -- and their per diem will be bumped from $15 to $50, same as the men.
Think about that for a second: The women, despite being the best in the world, were being paid $35 less in per diem than the men.
That it took USA Hockey this long to figure out that wasn't right -- that it took a looming boycott by the women's team of the world championships to bring it around -- tempted one to put the entire leadership under a concussion protocol, on the theory that something had scrambled their wits. But after months of apparently puttin' on the foil, ala the Hanson Brothers, they finally put on the common sense.
Congratulations, gentlemen. And forgive us if we add, "What took you so long?"
"I swear you don't have the sense God gave a goose!" she used to say.
Well, USA Hockey just proved it does, in fact, have the sense God gave a goose.
This is because the organization finally struck a deal with the U.S. women's hockey team it should have struck a long time ago, because it was simply and obviously the right thing to do. The defending world champions, and perennial top-two-in-the-world team, finally got treated the way a team of its stature should get treated.
Which is, as equals to the men.
Key to the new deal was not just a hike in pay, after all, but the explicit acknowledgement that the women's value, even as world champs, was not inherently less than that of the men. For the first time, USA Hockey will pay women's team performance bonuses. And for the first time, the women will get the same level of travel arrangements and insurance coverage as the men -- and their per diem will be bumped from $15 to $50, same as the men.
Think about that for a second: The women, despite being the best in the world, were being paid $35 less in per diem than the men.
That it took USA Hockey this long to figure out that wasn't right -- that it took a looming boycott by the women's team of the world championships to bring it around -- tempted one to put the entire leadership under a concussion protocol, on the theory that something had scrambled their wits. But after months of apparently puttin' on the foil, ala the Hanson Brothers, they finally put on the common sense.
Congratulations, gentlemen. And forgive us if we add, "What took you so long?"
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Puttin' on the fleece
Time now to haul Jerry Glanville out of the closet, dust him off and recycle his most famous quote.
Remember? That thing he said to a zebra one time?
The NFL, ol' Jer said, stands for "Not For Long."
This seems particularly appropriate this morning, with 31 of 32 NFL owners voting to allow the Raiders to whiz on Oakland for a second time. Last time they bailed for L.A., then came back; this time they're headed for Las Vegas.
That makes the Raiders the third NFL team in 14 months to kick their host cities in the teeth, the Rams and Chargers having already done it to St. Louis and San Diego. Sorry, folks, but you're just not whorish enough to be worthy of the mighty Shield. Try harder to fleece the taxpayers next time.
If this sounds cynical, it shouldn't, because when you strip away all the gauzy rhetoric surrounding these moves, fleecing the taxpayers is what it boils down to. Essentially, St. Louis, San Diego and Oakland weren't willing to fleece them enough. And so they lost their football teams -- an especially hurtful thing in Oakland, where the Raiders were one of the NFL's most iconic (and, as a charter member of the AFL, historic) franchises.
Well, so much for that. History, schmistory.
Here's the deal, as reported by Deadspin: Apparently the city of Oakland sent Roger Goodell an 11th-hour package to keep the Raiders in Oakland. It amounted to $1.3 billion. Goodell turned up his nose at it -- mainly because Vegas was offering a record $750 million in public funding, a number cash-strapped Oakland couldn't hope to match.
In other words, Vegas got Goodell's blessing, and the owners' nod, because it was willing to screw the taxpayers harder. Think about that for a minute. Think about what it says about these people, about what vandals they are -- and then laugh out loud every time Goodell has the gall to talk about "the fans" or "tradition" or the league's precious legacy.
The league has no legacy these days, other than piracy. Think about that, too.
On second thought, don't.
Especially if you've just eaten.
Remember? That thing he said to a zebra one time?
The NFL, ol' Jer said, stands for "Not For Long."
This seems particularly appropriate this morning, with 31 of 32 NFL owners voting to allow the Raiders to whiz on Oakland for a second time. Last time they bailed for L.A., then came back; this time they're headed for Las Vegas.
That makes the Raiders the third NFL team in 14 months to kick their host cities in the teeth, the Rams and Chargers having already done it to St. Louis and San Diego. Sorry, folks, but you're just not whorish enough to be worthy of the mighty Shield. Try harder to fleece the taxpayers next time.
If this sounds cynical, it shouldn't, because when you strip away all the gauzy rhetoric surrounding these moves, fleecing the taxpayers is what it boils down to. Essentially, St. Louis, San Diego and Oakland weren't willing to fleece them enough. And so they lost their football teams -- an especially hurtful thing in Oakland, where the Raiders were one of the NFL's most iconic (and, as a charter member of the AFL, historic) franchises.
Well, so much for that. History, schmistory.
Here's the deal, as reported by Deadspin: Apparently the city of Oakland sent Roger Goodell an 11th-hour package to keep the Raiders in Oakland. It amounted to $1.3 billion. Goodell turned up his nose at it -- mainly because Vegas was offering a record $750 million in public funding, a number cash-strapped Oakland couldn't hope to match.
In other words, Vegas got Goodell's blessing, and the owners' nod, because it was willing to screw the taxpayers harder. Think about that for a minute. Think about what it says about these people, about what vandals they are -- and then laugh out loud every time Goodell has the gall to talk about "the fans" or "tradition" or the league's precious legacy.
The league has no legacy these days, other than piracy. Think about that, too.
On second thought, don't.
Especially if you've just eaten.
Monday, March 27, 2017
The best part of the weekend
The best part of the weekend just past was not the end of the North Carolina-Kentucky game, which was pretty amazing, or gritty lunchpail South Carolina reaching the Final Four for the first time, or Gonzaga reaching the Final Four for the first time despite all the haters who didn't think the Zags deserved a No. 1 seed.
(It also wasn't Phil Knight University, aka Oregon, reaching the Final Four for the first time since the first NCAA Tournament in 1939, which Oregon won. Although that was cool, too).
No, the best part of the weekend -- a weekend with a lot history going on, obviously -- was what happened Saturday night in Indianapolis.
What happened (speaking of history) was Crispus Attucks winning the 3A boys state title.
This was history writ large, and it happened in an event many think lost some vital connection to a resonant past when Hoosier Hysteria died and March in Indiana split four ways two decades ago. It wasn't lost, really. All it did was change form.
And so to Saturday, when Attucks revealed that the ties that bind us in this basketball state are as strong as ever. Attucks, after all, is one of the iconic schools in Indiana high school hoops history, and probably (with apologies to Milan) the iconic school. Milan, after all, was the David-vs.-Goliath legend mostly in myth. Attucks was that legend in fact.
It was the first predominately African-American school to win a state title, and it did it two years in a row, in 1955 and 1956. The names of those who played at Attucks in the 1950s ring to the touch to this day: Willie Gardner and Hallie Bryant and the greatest Attucks Tiger of them all, Oscar Robertson.
Hallie and Oscar, reportedly, were there Saturday night, cheering on the current generation. It was another reminder that no matter what form it takes, high school basketball in Indiana is still high school basketball in Indiana. The vital connection to a resonant past will never be lost, precisely because that past is so resonant.
Saturday night was just one more marvelous reminder of that.
(It also wasn't Phil Knight University, aka Oregon, reaching the Final Four for the first time since the first NCAA Tournament in 1939, which Oregon won. Although that was cool, too).
No, the best part of the weekend -- a weekend with a lot history going on, obviously -- was what happened Saturday night in Indianapolis.
What happened (speaking of history) was Crispus Attucks winning the 3A boys state title.
This was history writ large, and it happened in an event many think lost some vital connection to a resonant past when Hoosier Hysteria died and March in Indiana split four ways two decades ago. It wasn't lost, really. All it did was change form.
And so to Saturday, when Attucks revealed that the ties that bind us in this basketball state are as strong as ever. Attucks, after all, is one of the iconic schools in Indiana high school hoops history, and probably (with apologies to Milan) the iconic school. Milan, after all, was the David-vs.-Goliath legend mostly in myth. Attucks was that legend in fact.
It was the first predominately African-American school to win a state title, and it did it two years in a row, in 1955 and 1956. The names of those who played at Attucks in the 1950s ring to the touch to this day: Willie Gardner and Hallie Bryant and the greatest Attucks Tiger of them all, Oscar Robertson.
Hallie and Oscar, reportedly, were there Saturday night, cheering on the current generation. It was another reminder that no matter what form it takes, high school basketball in Indiana is still high school basketball in Indiana. The vital connection to a resonant past will never be lost, precisely because that past is so resonant.
Saturday night was just one more marvelous reminder of that.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Never. Mind.
So remember the other day, when Kansas blew out Purdue and the Blob opined that the Jayhawks sure looked like your impending national champs?
This just in from the Elite Eight: Oregon 74, Kansas 60.
Never mind.
And while we're at it, let's move on to all those folks who had Gonzaga as The No. 1 Seed Most Likely To Fall On Its Face, on account of the Zags played in a puny conference and so they couldn't possibly be all that good.
This just in from the Elite Eight: Gonzaga 83, Xavier 59.
Or, in other words, Gonzaga by 24 over the team that took out both the No. 3 seed (Florida State) No. 2 seed (Arizona, a lot of people's presumptive favorite to come out of the West).
Never mind. Squared.
This just in from the Elite Eight: Oregon 74, Kansas 60.
Never mind.
And while we're at it, let's move on to all those folks who had Gonzaga as The No. 1 Seed Most Likely To Fall On Its Face, on account of the Zags played in a puny conference and so they couldn't possibly be all that good.
This just in from the Elite Eight: Gonzaga 83, Xavier 59.
Or, in other words, Gonzaga by 24 over the team that took out both the No. 3 seed (Florida State) No. 2 seed (Arizona, a lot of people's presumptive favorite to come out of the West).
Never mind. Squared.
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