Remember last week, when the Blob surmised that, after Indiana's basketball team took down Kansas, the web domain firecrean.com was likely available?
That's probably not true anymore.
The word out of South Bend this morning is that Fair Catch Corby's statue came to life, claimed it and renamed it firekelly.com.
This after the Expiring Irish wove gold into straw again, blowing yet another lead in yet another home game in a 34-31 loss to Virginia Tech. The Irish led 17-0 at one point and still led by 10 going into the fourth quarter, but the defense couldn't stop Tech when it mattered and the offense came apart like a cheap watch in the second half, scoring just seven points as quarterback DeShone Kizer completed just three passes after halftime.
Bad enough that the high-dollar alums on the 50-yard line had to sit through snow showers and a razor wind express-mailed from January. At least in the Lou Holtz days they usually got a win to warm their chilled bones.
The Kelly days, on the other hand, have been unraveling slowly since 2012, when the Irish went undefeated and played for a national championship for the first time since 1989. It was exactly what the Irish brain trust brought Kelly aboard to do -- make Notre Dame football relevant again -- and it would have locked in the guy for future statuary had Alabama not crushed Kelly's top-ranked Irish 42-14 in the championship game.
Since that year, Kelly's gone 9-4, 8-5, 10-3 and, so far this year, 4-7 with a likely loss at red-hot USC to come. Across that span of 50 games, Notre Dame has beaten a top 15 team only twice. Even last year, when they semi-returned to the semi-glory of 2012, they were again revealed to be college football's version of fool's gold, losing easily to Urban Meyer and the big boys from Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl.
The unavoidable conclusion is that Kelly has brought ND back to a place where it can (until this year, anyway) reliably beat opponents it should be expected to beat given its advantages in resources, prestige and virtually unmatched tradition. But it remains a clear level removed from the true elites like Alabama and Ohio State.
Whether or not this is all Kelly's fault and not simply the way of things now in college football remains open for debate. What isn't open for debate is that the aforementioned resources, prestige and tradition enable Kelly to, year after year, bring in recruiting classes on par or sometimes better than those of the elites. And yet, year after year, those same recruiting classes never quite produce teams capable of beating those same elites.
How else to read that except that the coaching must not be up to snuff?
Plenty of Domeheads have almost certainly come to that conclusion, and nothing that happened yesterday is likely to change their minds. Fair Catch Corby may not actually be revving up firekelly.com, but more and more his signature pose looks less like Fair Catch and more like Hey, Jack Swarbrick, Over Here. I'll Coach The Boys If You Like.
Not that a coaching change seems imminent. Notre Dame remains saddled with that absurdly chunky Charlie Weis divorce settlement, and another with Kelly would cost it dearly again. For just how many ex-wives can even a school like Notre Dame afford to be on the hook?
Look. For all Kelly's drawbacks -- not the least of which is his disagreeable habit of pushing players and assistant coaches into the path of oncoming Greyhounds -- he has gotten the Irish to their only national championship appearance in 27 years. And he's taken them to five other bowl games and won three of them, after Notre Dame had lost nine times in its previous 10 bowl appearances.
So, yes, he has gotten Notre Dame football back to a certain level. And is there really anyone out there right now -- someone Notre Dame could reasonably expect to get -- who could take it to the level?
Tom Herman, the latest hot ticket, seems bound for Texas now that the Longhorns' loss to Kansas seems to have sealed Charlie Strong's fate. The irrepressible P.J. Fleck at Western Michigan might be a good fit, and Domer Nation would love him, but the sample size might be too small for some, and the MAC to ND might be deemed too big a step at this point. Other than that, who do you get for a job that is, let's face it, still a plum but not as juicy a plum as it used to be?
Think about it. In the two decades since Lou Holtz stepped down, Notre Dame has had four football coaches. None of them either were or have been the answer, or at least close enough to the answer the faithful seek. Which raises an obviously uncomfortable thought.
Maybe close enough is all you're gonna get these days.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Saturday, November 19, 2016
An idea for which there's no good time
So, remember that classic old hypothetical of hypotheticals? What would happen if Batman fought Superman?
Well, we've got the answer to that now. They made a movie about it. It was dark and plodding and largely forgettable -- which is to say, even though it hasn't been that long since I saw it, I can't remember who won.
At any rate, we now have a real-world version of that hypothetical, and if we're all extremely lucky, it will remain a hypothetical. MMA icon/blowhard Conor McGregor says, hell, yes, he'd go a few rounds with boxing icon Floyd Mayweather, and just to be sporting he wouldn't tackle him and slap a chokehold on him or bend his limbs in ways contrary to nature.
In other words, the fight would be a straight-up boxing match.
McGregor says he'd take $100 million to do it, but given the interest in such an exhibition, I'm thinking he's shortchanging himself. I'm thinking this is the sort of thing that you could throw money at forever and it still wouldn't be enough.
I also think this is the sort of thing that absolutely, positively can't happen. Especially if you're Mayweather.
McGregor, you see, has nothing to lose here. Neither does MMA. It long since eclipsed boxing as the world's favorite form of pugilism, and if McGregor loses on Mayweather's turf, nothing's going to change that. It is, after all, Mayweather's turf.
And so, yes, it's highly likely Mayweather would win. On the other hand, McGregor can throw a little leather, too. And he is, let's face it, a few diamonds and hearts shy of a full deck. So you could definitely see him being completely willing to wade through as many Mayweather bombs as he needed to in order to get in one knockout punch.
And if that happens?
Boxing's completely done, instead of only partly done. If an unschooled ruffian like McGregor could take out one of the sport's all-time greats, what would that say about the relative merits of the two sports? MMA would become the combat sport to an even greater extent than it already is, and boxing would become just that thing people do who aren't skilled or tough enough for MMA.
The ironic thing is, in the Blob's estimation, boxing is actually the sport that requires much more technical expertise. I know MMA advocates will point out that it incorporates several disciplines as opposed to just one, but hard as I try all I see when I watch an MMA fight are two men (or women) trading a few punches and then rolling around the octagon until someone gets a submission hold. It holds about as much fascination for me as watching two bored siblings pound on each other on the living room floor on a Saturday afternoon.
Yet it's clearly what the people want. And it's why Mayweather, for boxing's sake, should stay as far away from this idea as possible.
Well, we've got the answer to that now. They made a movie about it. It was dark and plodding and largely forgettable -- which is to say, even though it hasn't been that long since I saw it, I can't remember who won.
At any rate, we now have a real-world version of that hypothetical, and if we're all extremely lucky, it will remain a hypothetical. MMA icon/blowhard Conor McGregor says, hell, yes, he'd go a few rounds with boxing icon Floyd Mayweather, and just to be sporting he wouldn't tackle him and slap a chokehold on him or bend his limbs in ways contrary to nature.
In other words, the fight would be a straight-up boxing match.
McGregor says he'd take $100 million to do it, but given the interest in such an exhibition, I'm thinking he's shortchanging himself. I'm thinking this is the sort of thing that you could throw money at forever and it still wouldn't be enough.
I also think this is the sort of thing that absolutely, positively can't happen. Especially if you're Mayweather.
McGregor, you see, has nothing to lose here. Neither does MMA. It long since eclipsed boxing as the world's favorite form of pugilism, and if McGregor loses on Mayweather's turf, nothing's going to change that. It is, after all, Mayweather's turf.
And so, yes, it's highly likely Mayweather would win. On the other hand, McGregor can throw a little leather, too. And he is, let's face it, a few diamonds and hearts shy of a full deck. So you could definitely see him being completely willing to wade through as many Mayweather bombs as he needed to in order to get in one knockout punch.
And if that happens?
Boxing's completely done, instead of only partly done. If an unschooled ruffian like McGregor could take out one of the sport's all-time greats, what would that say about the relative merits of the two sports? MMA would become the combat sport to an even greater extent than it already is, and boxing would become just that thing people do who aren't skilled or tough enough for MMA.
The ironic thing is, in the Blob's estimation, boxing is actually the sport that requires much more technical expertise. I know MMA advocates will point out that it incorporates several disciplines as opposed to just one, but hard as I try all I see when I watch an MMA fight are two men (or women) trading a few punches and then rolling around the octagon until someone gets a submission hold. It holds about as much fascination for me as watching two bored siblings pound on each other on the living room floor on a Saturday afternoon.
Yet it's clearly what the people want. And it's why Mayweather, for boxing's sake, should stay as far away from this idea as possible.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
What's good for the goose
College is about education. As Emil Faber, the founder of America's most revered imaginary institution of higher learning, once said, "Knowledge is good."
And so I really don't get how Oklahoma defensive coordinator Mike Stoops can express dismay over defensive lineman Charles Walker's decision to immediately leave the Sooners to get ready for the NFL draft.
Walker's decision was prompted by his second concussion in little more than eight months, which happened in the Sooners' Oct. 1 game against TCU. He hasn't played since, and his decision not to risk his draft status by playing anymore indicates he's indeed been well-educated about how high-dollar college athletics work, and what is their guiding principle.
Which is: You gotta look out for No. 1.
And so a big "oh, please" goes out to Stoops, who, when the news came out, told reporters that "quitting on your teammates" was hard on ol' coach's sensibilities. This despite the fact that Walker's teammates, who know how this deal works, too, probably completely understood his decision. And this also despite the fact that, in a corporate enterprise like Power 5 college football, career considerations almost always outweigh loyalty to dear old Whatsamatta U.
The Mike Stoops who lamented Walker "quitting" on his teammates to look after his own athletic future, after all, is the same Mike Stoops who left Kansas State in 1998 as associate head coach and co-defensive coordinator to assume identical positions at Oklahoma, a conference rival. And he's the same Mike Stoops who left Oklahoma in 2004 to become head coach at Arizona.
Mind you, no one's blaming him for doing that. Like anyone else, he has a perfect right to pursue what he sees as better career opportunities. But in so doing, don't forget he left behind players at both K-State and Oklahoma he undoubtedly helped recruit, and to whom he'd grown close.
In other words, he quit on them.
So it's the height of hypocrisy for him to criticize Walker, who, after all, is only pursuing opportunity, too. An All-Big 12 selection in 2015, he's projected to be a Day 2 pick in the 2017 NFL Draft. But if he comes back and plays out the season -- which is almost over, anyway -- and sustains another concussion, what happens then? How far does a guy fall who's had three concussions in a year, in a league that (allegedly, anyway) has finally gotten religion about concussions?
And so kudos to Walker. He's doing what everyone in Power 5 college football does, which is act in their own best interests. If his school can make millions off him, using him as a human billboard to promote their chunky apparel deals and raking in bowl money while paying him only room-and- board, why can't Walker turn the tables on them?
Thanks, guys, it's been real. But I gotta think about me now. You know, the way y'all do.
Just so.
And so I really don't get how Oklahoma defensive coordinator Mike Stoops can express dismay over defensive lineman Charles Walker's decision to immediately leave the Sooners to get ready for the NFL draft.
Walker's decision was prompted by his second concussion in little more than eight months, which happened in the Sooners' Oct. 1 game against TCU. He hasn't played since, and his decision not to risk his draft status by playing anymore indicates he's indeed been well-educated about how high-dollar college athletics work, and what is their guiding principle.
Which is: You gotta look out for No. 1.
And so a big "oh, please" goes out to Stoops, who, when the news came out, told reporters that "quitting on your teammates" was hard on ol' coach's sensibilities. This despite the fact that Walker's teammates, who know how this deal works, too, probably completely understood his decision. And this also despite the fact that, in a corporate enterprise like Power 5 college football, career considerations almost always outweigh loyalty to dear old Whatsamatta U.
The Mike Stoops who lamented Walker "quitting" on his teammates to look after his own athletic future, after all, is the same Mike Stoops who left Kansas State in 1998 as associate head coach and co-defensive coordinator to assume identical positions at Oklahoma, a conference rival. And he's the same Mike Stoops who left Oklahoma in 2004 to become head coach at Arizona.
Mind you, no one's blaming him for doing that. Like anyone else, he has a perfect right to pursue what he sees as better career opportunities. But in so doing, don't forget he left behind players at both K-State and Oklahoma he undoubtedly helped recruit, and to whom he'd grown close.
In other words, he quit on them.
So it's the height of hypocrisy for him to criticize Walker, who, after all, is only pursuing opportunity, too. An All-Big 12 selection in 2015, he's projected to be a Day 2 pick in the 2017 NFL Draft. But if he comes back and plays out the season -- which is almost over, anyway -- and sustains another concussion, what happens then? How far does a guy fall who's had three concussions in a year, in a league that (allegedly, anyway) has finally gotten religion about concussions?
And so kudos to Walker. He's doing what everyone in Power 5 college football does, which is act in their own best interests. If his school can make millions off him, using him as a human billboard to promote their chunky apparel deals and raking in bowl money while paying him only room-and- board, why can't Walker turn the tables on them?
Thanks, guys, it's been real. But I gotta think about me now. You know, the way y'all do.
Just so.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Poll-axed
So now we know how valuable preseason college basketball polls are, which is somewhere between Used Hotdog Wrapper and Two Of Hearts In A Game Of Euchre on the Fujita scale of Things That Aren't Worth A Tinker's Damn.
(I totally made that scale up, by the way. I just stuck "Fujita" on it so it would sound official).
At any rate, preseason polls are a testament, apparently, to the notion that, in November, nobody knows nuttin'. This is not to say anyone knows anything any other time of the year -- just look at how many people's brackets wind up a smoking ruin every March -- but they are especially clueelss when the leaves are still falling and no one's bricked an open three in anger yet.
Let's go to the tape, shall we?
Where, last Friday, we saw preseason No. 11 Indiana knock off No.3 Kansas.
Where, last night, Kansas, now ranked No. 7, beat No. 1 Duke 77-75.
Where, also, unranked Baylor beat No. 4 Oregon by 17, No. 22 Creighton beat No. 9 Wisconsin by 12, and No. 13 Michigan State lost to No. 2 Kentucky by 21.
True, that one held to form. But if you're ranked 13th, should you really be getting floor-waxed by 21 while scoring only 48 points?
Sound to me like the polls had the Spartans hiked a bit high. Among all the other stuff they had wrong.
Can't wait 'til next Tuesday, when unranked IPFW stuns IU.
(OK, so probably not. But this time of year, when nobody knows nuttin', who knows?)
(I totally made that scale up, by the way. I just stuck "Fujita" on it so it would sound official).
At any rate, preseason polls are a testament, apparently, to the notion that, in November, nobody knows nuttin'. This is not to say anyone knows anything any other time of the year -- just look at how many people's brackets wind up a smoking ruin every March -- but they are especially clueelss when the leaves are still falling and no one's bricked an open three in anger yet.
Let's go to the tape, shall we?
Where, last Friday, we saw preseason No. 11 Indiana knock off No.3 Kansas.
Where, last night, Kansas, now ranked No. 7, beat No. 1 Duke 77-75.
Where, also, unranked Baylor beat No. 4 Oregon by 17, No. 22 Creighton beat No. 9 Wisconsin by 12, and No. 13 Michigan State lost to No. 2 Kentucky by 21.
True, that one held to form. But if you're ranked 13th, should you really be getting floor-waxed by 21 while scoring only 48 points?
Sound to me like the polls had the Spartans hiked a bit high. Among all the other stuff they had wrong.
Can't wait 'til next Tuesday, when unranked IPFW stuns IU.
(OK, so probably not. But this time of year, when nobody knows nuttin', who knows?)
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 10
And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature of which internet trolls have sneered "Here comes the wall, bleep-bleep!" and "Trump's gonna send you back where you belong, as soon as he figures out how this newfangled thing called the 'Presidency' works":
1. 5-4, 6-3, 5-4, 5-4, 6-4.
2. The respective records of the Ravens, the Texans, the Lions, the Vikings and the Falcons, all of whom either lead or are tied for the lead in their divisions.
3. In case you were wondering why those TV ratings are down.
4. In other news, the Browns!
5. Are still the Browns!
6. Oh, and Jay Cutler is still Jay Cutler.
7. Ditto Tony Romo.
8. Who looks real nice holdin' that clipboard, dudn't he?
9. Hey, no fair! The Patriots lost!
10. And Pete Carroll won!
1. 5-4, 6-3, 5-4, 5-4, 6-4.
2. The respective records of the Ravens, the Texans, the Lions, the Vikings and the Falcons, all of whom either lead or are tied for the lead in their divisions.
3. In case you were wondering why those TV ratings are down.
4. In other news, the Browns!
5. Are still the Browns!
6. Oh, and Jay Cutler is still Jay Cutler.
7. Ditto Tony Romo.
8. Who looks real nice holdin' that clipboard, dudn't he?
9. Hey, no fair! The Patriots lost!
10. And Pete Carroll won!
Monday, November 14, 2016
Meanwhile, in NASCAR ...
And, yes, "meanwhile" means exactly what you think it does. Which is that they're still racing.
Yesterday was the next-to-last race of the season in Phoenix ("What? There's still another one?" you're saying), and I have to say, after years of tinkering and wire-jiggling, NASCAR has finally gotten the Chase thing right.
It actually operates like a true playoff system, and that has energized a largely stagnant enterprise. If you watched the closing laps on Sunday and weren't riveted by the battle for the last final-four spot between Kyle Busch and Joey Logano, you just don't like sports.
And then there was the finish, when Matt Kenseth, who looked as if he was going to win and secure a spot in the final four, got turned sideways by young Alex Bowman on the start of the first overtime green-white-checker. That sent Logano, who was trying to stay ahead of both Busch and a fast-closing Kevin Harvick, into the lead, with Busch second. And that's how they finished.
It was the second time in the Chase that Logano has won an elimination race to stay alive. And by finishing second, Busch will get a chance to defend his title in Homestead next week.
Fate or destiny or some other magical thinking would seem to dictate this is Logano's year, considering he's already saved his season twice. But Busch was actually the luckier man yesterday. Had Kenseth not crashed, he likely would have missed the final cut in a tiebreaker with Logano. Passing Logano wasn't going to get him in; Harvick had to get around Logano, too. And as the laps ran down, it didn't look like Harvick quite had the car to do it.
And so it's Logano, Busch, Carl Edwards and Jimmie Johnson, who's going for his seventh title. Part me is inclined to go with J.J. Part of me, like last year, is inclined to go with Busch, because if you're betting on someone to win one particular race, Rowdy is your guy. He's simply the best wheel man out there with everything on the line.
In the end, though, I'll go with J.J. Winning at Martinsville to open the Round of 8 gave him and crew chief Chad Knaus essentially three weeks to plan for Homestead. You've gotta like their chances.
Yesterday was the next-to-last race of the season in Phoenix ("What? There's still another one?" you're saying), and I have to say, after years of tinkering and wire-jiggling, NASCAR has finally gotten the Chase thing right.
It actually operates like a true playoff system, and that has energized a largely stagnant enterprise. If you watched the closing laps on Sunday and weren't riveted by the battle for the last final-four spot between Kyle Busch and Joey Logano, you just don't like sports.
And then there was the finish, when Matt Kenseth, who looked as if he was going to win and secure a spot in the final four, got turned sideways by young Alex Bowman on the start of the first overtime green-white-checker. That sent Logano, who was trying to stay ahead of both Busch and a fast-closing Kevin Harvick, into the lead, with Busch second. And that's how they finished.
It was the second time in the Chase that Logano has won an elimination race to stay alive. And by finishing second, Busch will get a chance to defend his title in Homestead next week.
Fate or destiny or some other magical thinking would seem to dictate this is Logano's year, considering he's already saved his season twice. But Busch was actually the luckier man yesterday. Had Kenseth not crashed, he likely would have missed the final cut in a tiebreaker with Logano. Passing Logano wasn't going to get him in; Harvick had to get around Logano, too. And as the laps ran down, it didn't look like Harvick quite had the car to do it.
And so it's Logano, Busch, Carl Edwards and Jimmie Johnson, who's going for his seventh title. Part me is inclined to go with J.J. Part of me, like last year, is inclined to go with Busch, because if you're betting on someone to win one particular race, Rowdy is your guy. He's simply the best wheel man out there with everything on the line.
In the end, though, I'll go with J.J. Winning at Martinsville to open the Round of 8 gave him and crew chief Chad Knaus essentially three weeks to plan for Homestead. You've gotta like their chances.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Bad craziness
Or as legendary gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson once also said "When the going gets weird, the weird say 'What th--?'".
(OK, so the quote is actually "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." But this works better.)
At any rate, yes, this was a Bad Crazy Saturday in college football, which once more reminded us why it is better and more fascinating than the pro version by a factor of gazillions. I mean, what else are you gonna say about a day that featured a kicker named Blewitt knocking off No. 2 Clemson? Besides, "Oh, come on, you're making that up"?
No, I am not. That really was Pittsburgh kicker Chris Blewitt beating Clemson with a last-second field goal. And that really was Iowa kicker Keith Duncan beating No. 3 Michigan with a last-second field goal, a week after the Hawkeyes were crushed 41-14 by Penn State. And that really was USC freshman QB Sam Darnold passing No. 4 Washington into a coma in a 26-13 win.
So three of the four teams expected to slide into the College Football Playoff go down, and now everything is at sixes and sevens. Who moves up now? Who moves down? And why is there a queasy feeling in the land that it's all just a foregone conclusion now, that defending national champion Alabama is not just a cut above everyone else but three or four or five cuts above?
The Crimson Tide and Them Others. Looks more like that now than ever.
It's the only downside to a day like Saturday, the only thing that keeps the suits at ESPN, which have the rights to the CFP, tossing and turning at night. 'Bama floor-waxing Them Others isn't exactly going to make those ratings perk up, after all.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, the cleanout of the top four yesterday did prove this: No one's immune to Bad Crazy. If a "meh" Iowa team can knock off a Michigan team that was road-grading everyone in its path, who's to say someone can't get Alabama? Say, Auburn, perhaps, in the Iron Bowl?
Of course, Auburn, which had won six in a row, was upset yesterday by Georgia. So there's that.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
(OK, so the quote is actually "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." But this works better.)
At any rate, yes, this was a Bad Crazy Saturday in college football, which once more reminded us why it is better and more fascinating than the pro version by a factor of gazillions. I mean, what else are you gonna say about a day that featured a kicker named Blewitt knocking off No. 2 Clemson? Besides, "Oh, come on, you're making that up"?
No, I am not. That really was Pittsburgh kicker Chris Blewitt beating Clemson with a last-second field goal. And that really was Iowa kicker Keith Duncan beating No. 3 Michigan with a last-second field goal, a week after the Hawkeyes were crushed 41-14 by Penn State. And that really was USC freshman QB Sam Darnold passing No. 4 Washington into a coma in a 26-13 win.
So three of the four teams expected to slide into the College Football Playoff go down, and now everything is at sixes and sevens. Who moves up now? Who moves down? And why is there a queasy feeling in the land that it's all just a foregone conclusion now, that defending national champion Alabama is not just a cut above everyone else but three or four or five cuts above?
The Crimson Tide and Them Others. Looks more like that now than ever.
It's the only downside to a day like Saturday, the only thing that keeps the suits at ESPN, which have the rights to the CFP, tossing and turning at night. 'Bama floor-waxing Them Others isn't exactly going to make those ratings perk up, after all.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, the cleanout of the top four yesterday did prove this: No one's immune to Bad Crazy. If a "meh" Iowa team can knock off a Michigan team that was road-grading everyone in its path, who's to say someone can't get Alabama? Say, Auburn, perhaps, in the Iron Bowl?
Of course, Auburn, which had won six in a row, was upset yesterday by Georgia. So there's that.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
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