And just when you thought the Blob would never shut up ... it's shutting up.
Well, for a few days, anyway. I'm off for a little R&R, which means you will not be able to read the usual nonsense until, um, probably next weekend. At which time I'll no doubt have a lot to say about a lot, so tune back in,
Until then, you may talk quietly among yourselves. But no gum-chewing. I mean it.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Whine time
I feel Donald Trump's pain. I do.
The Game Show Host thinks it's ridiculous two of his upcoming presidential debates with Hillary Clinton are going up against the mighty Shield, and so he whined about it as only the Game Show Host can whine. Which is to say, he lied through his teeth.
He claimed the NFL complained to him about the debates conflicting with two NFL games, something the Shield matter-of-factly denied. But I still feel for the Game Show Host, even though the debate schedule has been in place for almost a year, and the NFL schedule for several months, too.
I mean, what happens if more people tune in to watch the Saints-Falcons on Monday Night Football Sept. 26 than Trump-Hillary? Or even worse, Tampa Bay vs. Carolina on Oct. 9?
What a blow to the ego that would be for him. Drew Brees and Matt Ryan, more riveting than Donny? Cam Newton with more to say worth hearing than the Game Show Host? But ... but ... he's the most important guy in the world right now! Just ask him!
Of course, I could give him the benefit of the doubt here and suggest this isn't about Donny wanting to be the sole center of attention on those nights. I could suggest he's complaining on behalf of the American people.
Yeah. As if.
The Game Show Host thinks it's ridiculous two of his upcoming presidential debates with Hillary Clinton are going up against the mighty Shield, and so he whined about it as only the Game Show Host can whine. Which is to say, he lied through his teeth.
He claimed the NFL complained to him about the debates conflicting with two NFL games, something the Shield matter-of-factly denied. But I still feel for the Game Show Host, even though the debate schedule has been in place for almost a year, and the NFL schedule for several months, too.
I mean, what happens if more people tune in to watch the Saints-Falcons on Monday Night Football Sept. 26 than Trump-Hillary? Or even worse, Tampa Bay vs. Carolina on Oct. 9?
What a blow to the ego that would be for him. Drew Brees and Matt Ryan, more riveting than Donny? Cam Newton with more to say worth hearing than the Game Show Host? But ... but ... he's the most important guy in the world right now! Just ask him!
Of course, I could give him the benefit of the doubt here and suggest this isn't about Donny wanting to be the sole center of attention on those nights. I could suggest he's complaining on behalf of the American people.
Yeah. As if.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Today in tone deafness
Or, "Two Incidents That Certain People Will Surely Decry As Political Correctness Run Amok, Because Decrying Political Correctness Run Amok Has Become The New Political Correctness."
One, a Texas A&M slideshow put together by a couple football assistants that included a parody version of the school fight song teleported, apparently, from the 1950s. Really, gentlemen? "Put down your dishtowel and take off your gloves"? "No more Lysol, no more Cascade"?
Head football coach Kevin Sumlin immediately slapped down the people responsible, on account of the fact women got out of the kitchen decades ago. I know, there's a certain sub-species of male that longs to go back to those days -- Barefoot, pregnant and bakin' cookies, that's how we like our women, by God! -- but that sub-species is knee-deep in the tar pits with the rest of the dinosaurs.
Pssst. Hey, guys. It's 2016. Maybe you heard about it.
Which brings to our second adventure in tone deafness.
It seems a new junior hockey team in Erie, Pa., decided to call itself the "Lake Erie Warriors," which was fine as far it went, except that someone decided to take it a step further. So they introduced this as the team logo.
Seriously, people?
Yeah, there's nothing racist at all about that. I mean, look how fierce looks! What a proud, noble image of Native Americans! After all, they were all screaming savages, right?
The backlash, thankfully, was immediate and overwhelming. So the club not only yanked the logo, it ditched "Warrriors" for the more inoffensive "Gulls."
Which, to be honest, does seem like an overreaction. Ditching the logo would have been sufficient. Again, it was like something out of the 1950s, those golden days when you could insult racial minorities and women to your heart's content (and more than just insult them), and nobody called you on it.
Ah, the good old days.
One, a Texas A&M slideshow put together by a couple football assistants that included a parody version of the school fight song teleported, apparently, from the 1950s. Really, gentlemen? "Put down your dishtowel and take off your gloves"? "No more Lysol, no more Cascade"?
Head football coach Kevin Sumlin immediately slapped down the people responsible, on account of the fact women got out of the kitchen decades ago. I know, there's a certain sub-species of male that longs to go back to those days -- Barefoot, pregnant and bakin' cookies, that's how we like our women, by God! -- but that sub-species is knee-deep in the tar pits with the rest of the dinosaurs.
Pssst. Hey, guys. It's 2016. Maybe you heard about it.
Which brings to our second adventure in tone deafness.
It seems a new junior hockey team in Erie, Pa., decided to call itself the "Lake Erie Warriors," which was fine as far it went, except that someone decided to take it a step further. So they introduced this as the team logo.
Seriously, people?
Yeah, there's nothing racist at all about that. I mean, look how fierce looks! What a proud, noble image of Native Americans! After all, they were all screaming savages, right?
The backlash, thankfully, was immediate and overwhelming. So the club not only yanked the logo, it ditched "Warrriors" for the more inoffensive "Gulls."
Which, to be honest, does seem like an overreaction. Ditching the logo would have been sufficient. Again, it was like something out of the 1950s, those golden days when you could insult racial minorities and women to your heart's content (and more than just insult them), and nobody called you on it.
Ah, the good old days.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Your Olympic fiasco update
So we're eight days away from the opening ceremonies for the Rio Olympics, and let's get the good news out of the way first: No one has found any body parts adjacent to Olympic venues for, like, days.
So it's all good, right?
Well ... unless you count the fact that 19 of the 31 high-rise apartment buildings that comprise the Olympic Village haven't passed safety inspections yet. And that the Argentinians are claiming their quarters have been sabotaged. And that the venues for the yachting and open swimming competitions are even more an open sewer than originally thought, with competitors trying to achieve their Olympic dreams in a stew of diarrhea-inducing rotaviruses and "super bacteria".
"Foreign athletes will literally be swimming in human crap," a local pediatrician, Dr. Daniel Becker, told the New York Times.
Let the Games begin!
So it's all good, right?
Well ... unless you count the fact that 19 of the 31 high-rise apartment buildings that comprise the Olympic Village haven't passed safety inspections yet. And that the Argentinians are claiming their quarters have been sabotaged. And that the venues for the yachting and open swimming competitions are even more an open sewer than originally thought, with competitors trying to achieve their Olympic dreams in a stew of diarrhea-inducing rotaviruses and "super bacteria".
"Foreign athletes will literally be swimming in human crap," a local pediatrician, Dr. Daniel Becker, told the New York Times.
Let the Games begin!
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Five for fighting (the obvious)
No, denial is not just a river in Egypt. Turns out it's a frozen river in Egypt.
Or so we can assume now that the Ice King himself, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, has once again denied there exists any credible evidence that suggests sports-related concussions can lead to long-term brain damage. This time he did it in a letter to U.S. Senator Richard Blumenthal.
"[T]he science regarding CTE, including on the asserted 'link' to concussions ... remains nascent, particularly with respect to what causes CTE and whether it can be diagnosed by specific clinical symptoms," Bettman wrote, adding that current research establishes no "causal link between CTE and concussions in team sports generally, much less in NHL hockey."
Actually, there's plenty of research that suggests a causal link, and there has been for some time. Research into the exact link may be ongoing, but that there is one has been fairly well established for nearly a decade. Even the NFL has come to that conclusion, and the NFL spent the better part of 20 years with its eyes glued shut, discrediting any research (and trashing the reputation of any researcher) who suggested as much. The Shield even debunked its own research on the matter back in 2010 or so.
And yet here comes Gary Bettman, who must have fallen asleep back in 2010 or so and has yet to awaken. No credible evidence that repeated blows to the head and CTE are linked? What planet is the man living on?
I'll tell you which one: The Planet of I'm Gettin' Sued.
See, the NHL is up against a class-action lawsuit filed by 105 former NHL players, who claim the league failed to properly warn players of the risks associated with repeated concussions. And so Bettman is pretty much compelled to stonewall the thing, no doubt on the advice of counsel.
Problem is, every time he does stonewall, he makes the players' case for them. They are, after all, claiming the league ignored the issue, or even refused to acknowledge one existed. Which is exactly what Bettman continues to do.
Nice strategy.
Or so we can assume now that the Ice King himself, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, has once again denied there exists any credible evidence that suggests sports-related concussions can lead to long-term brain damage. This time he did it in a letter to U.S. Senator Richard Blumenthal.
"[T]he science regarding CTE, including on the asserted 'link' to concussions ... remains nascent, particularly with respect to what causes CTE and whether it can be diagnosed by specific clinical symptoms," Bettman wrote, adding that current research establishes no "causal link between CTE and concussions in team sports generally, much less in NHL hockey."
Actually, there's plenty of research that suggests a causal link, and there has been for some time. Research into the exact link may be ongoing, but that there is one has been fairly well established for nearly a decade. Even the NFL has come to that conclusion, and the NFL spent the better part of 20 years with its eyes glued shut, discrediting any research (and trashing the reputation of any researcher) who suggested as much. The Shield even debunked its own research on the matter back in 2010 or so.
And yet here comes Gary Bettman, who must have fallen asleep back in 2010 or so and has yet to awaken. No credible evidence that repeated blows to the head and CTE are linked? What planet is the man living on?
I'll tell you which one: The Planet of I'm Gettin' Sued.
See, the NHL is up against a class-action lawsuit filed by 105 former NHL players, who claim the league failed to properly warn players of the risks associated with repeated concussions. And so Bettman is pretty much compelled to stonewall the thing, no doubt on the advice of counsel.
Problem is, every time he does stonewall, he makes the players' case for them. They are, after all, claiming the league ignored the issue, or even refused to acknowledge one existed. Which is exactly what Bettman continues to do.
Nice strategy.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Mandate time
That W flag you keep running up the flagpole, it's not just a W flag anymore, Cubs Nation. It's now officially a commandment.
You don't sell a piece of the future to the buy the present if that's not the goal, and Cubs GM Theo Epstein acknowledged as much after the team traded a fistful of prospects for Aroldis Chapman and his 100-mph fastball. The future is now for the Cubs -- "If not now, when?" Epstein asked -- and so they overpaid for Chapman, who will give them the ace closer they didn't have and brings up to code their bullpen, the only perceived weakness in their arsenal.
Which means, unmistakably, that it's World Series or bust now.
And, yes, that is a huge tempting of the fates, and every Cubs fan who remembers the collapse of 1969 and the collapse of 1984 and the collapse of 2003 knows it. This thing has been on their racquet before -- not often in 108 years, but enough -- and then vanished. And so even if the addition of Chapman makes them look like your basic odds-on favorite, there will no doubt be trepidation in the ranks of Cubdom that this is all going entirely too well.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is an unavoidable learned behavior when you haven't won a World Series since 1908, and haven't even played in one since two months after V-J Day. Something bad is always out there, no matter how much good is around. And so the Cubs fans I know, while mightily pleased that Chapman's on board, remain wary. Stuff could still happen.
But every sign is pointed in their direction right now. They not only have the best starting rotation in the game, they might now have the deepest 'pen. And it's pitching that wins in the playoffs. It's pitching that beat them a year ago, when the Mets crisped them with all those flamethrowers.
Who are still around, by the way. And who swept them in a three-game set in New York to open July, then beat them 2-1 in Chicago as Noah Syndegaard outdueled Jake Arrieta in a battle of aces whose outcome was eerily reminiscent of the NLCS last fall.
Uh-oh.
You don't sell a piece of the future to the buy the present if that's not the goal, and Cubs GM Theo Epstein acknowledged as much after the team traded a fistful of prospects for Aroldis Chapman and his 100-mph fastball. The future is now for the Cubs -- "If not now, when?" Epstein asked -- and so they overpaid for Chapman, who will give them the ace closer they didn't have and brings up to code their bullpen, the only perceived weakness in their arsenal.
Which means, unmistakably, that it's World Series or bust now.
And, yes, that is a huge tempting of the fates, and every Cubs fan who remembers the collapse of 1969 and the collapse of 1984 and the collapse of 2003 knows it. This thing has been on their racquet before -- not often in 108 years, but enough -- and then vanished. And so even if the addition of Chapman makes them look like your basic odds-on favorite, there will no doubt be trepidation in the ranks of Cubdom that this is all going entirely too well.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is an unavoidable learned behavior when you haven't won a World Series since 1908, and haven't even played in one since two months after V-J Day. Something bad is always out there, no matter how much good is around. And so the Cubs fans I know, while mightily pleased that Chapman's on board, remain wary. Stuff could still happen.
But every sign is pointed in their direction right now. They not only have the best starting rotation in the game, they might now have the deepest 'pen. And it's pitching that wins in the playoffs. It's pitching that beat them a year ago, when the Mets crisped them with all those flamethrowers.
Who are still around, by the way. And who swept them in a three-game set in New York to open July, then beat them 2-1 in Chicago as Noah Syndegaard outdueled Jake Arrieta in a battle of aces whose outcome was eerily reminiscent of the NLCS last fall.
Uh-oh.
Monday, July 25, 2016
The sad sound of crickets
It's so hard to watch this now. The past keeps intruding, those vast cliffs of roaring humanity. The memories of the good days -- 1994, 1995, on and on -- crowd close. It's the sour flip side of having seen so much in 38 years as a sportswriter in Indiana, the price you pay for the overwhelming abundance of good stuff.
And so I sat in a Buffalo Wild Wings and watched the Brickyard 400 yesterday, and I mourned the essential death of what used to be an Event. Now it's not even an event, small "e." It's just another NASCAR race -- which is why I was watching it in a B-Dubs, because the Brickyard 400 was on NBCSN, no longer deemed worthy of network TV.
Just another vast-wasteland cable entity now, like, say The Flash on the CW. That's what's become of one of NASCAR's crown jewels. That's the Event that drew 250,000 Dale Earnhardt-shirt-wearin' yahoos to Indianapolis once upon a glorious time. And now?
Now it's a ghost town. Now it plays to mostly empty seats, judging by the overhead shots that showed small clumps of fans here and there, huddled in the Indianapolis Motor Speedway's sea of grandstands like the first settlers in an untracked wilderness.
Maybe 50,000, that was the estimate. Maybe. And if part of that was because it was a brutally hot day, part of it was also an unmistakable verdict on the not-even-small-"e" event. Why go sit out in 93-degree heat to watch a parade?
Because, frankly, that's all the Brickyard is, and the fans have figured that out. Yesterday was perhaps the starkest example yet of that; polesitter Kyle Busch led 149 laps, including the last 109. I got onto the broadcast approximately halfway through the race. I never saw a pass for the lead -- even on the restarts, when Busch simply drove away from everyone again.
Not that NASCAR didn't try to gin things up, throwing a bogus debris yellow with 12 or so laps to run for a piece of trash that was clear up by the wall and well out of the racing groove. That forced one last restart, which led to a big crash, which led to a red flag and another crash on another restart ... which led to Busch driving away from everyone again on the final restart.
Game over. Although everyone left in attendance knew it had been over for some time.
And, again, so hard to watch, for someone who was there for the inaugural Brickyard in '94, who remembers the buzz around NASCAR at Indy, who remembers when the sport was so big it briefly indulged the illusion that it was America's fourth major sport. But then it came back to reality, and the Brickyard came with it. The tire fiasco in 2008, coupled with the Wall Street crash, was the beginning of the end; crowds and national interest have dwindled every year since.
Now it's not the Brickyard anymore, really. It's only an echo of the Brickyard.
Sad. So sad.
And so I sat in a Buffalo Wild Wings and watched the Brickyard 400 yesterday, and I mourned the essential death of what used to be an Event. Now it's not even an event, small "e." It's just another NASCAR race -- which is why I was watching it in a B-Dubs, because the Brickyard 400 was on NBCSN, no longer deemed worthy of network TV.
Just another vast-wasteland cable entity now, like, say The Flash on the CW. That's what's become of one of NASCAR's crown jewels. That's the Event that drew 250,000 Dale Earnhardt-shirt-wearin' yahoos to Indianapolis once upon a glorious time. And now?
Now it's a ghost town. Now it plays to mostly empty seats, judging by the overhead shots that showed small clumps of fans here and there, huddled in the Indianapolis Motor Speedway's sea of grandstands like the first settlers in an untracked wilderness.
Maybe 50,000, that was the estimate. Maybe. And if part of that was because it was a brutally hot day, part of it was also an unmistakable verdict on the not-even-small-"e" event. Why go sit out in 93-degree heat to watch a parade?
Because, frankly, that's all the Brickyard is, and the fans have figured that out. Yesterday was perhaps the starkest example yet of that; polesitter Kyle Busch led 149 laps, including the last 109. I got onto the broadcast approximately halfway through the race. I never saw a pass for the lead -- even on the restarts, when Busch simply drove away from everyone again.
Not that NASCAR didn't try to gin things up, throwing a bogus debris yellow with 12 or so laps to run for a piece of trash that was clear up by the wall and well out of the racing groove. That forced one last restart, which led to a big crash, which led to a red flag and another crash on another restart ... which led to Busch driving away from everyone again on the final restart.
Game over. Although everyone left in attendance knew it had been over for some time.
And, again, so hard to watch, for someone who was there for the inaugural Brickyard in '94, who remembers the buzz around NASCAR at Indy, who remembers when the sport was so big it briefly indulged the illusion that it was America's fourth major sport. But then it came back to reality, and the Brickyard came with it. The tire fiasco in 2008, coupled with the Wall Street crash, was the beginning of the end; crowds and national interest have dwindled every year since.
Now it's not the Brickyard anymore, really. It's only an echo of the Brickyard.
Sad. So sad.
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