A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 8

 And now this week’s edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the bookish Blob feature of whose many titles critics have said “Why doncha have a book titled ‘The Day This Feature Exploded In A Million Tiny Shards’”, and also “How ‘bout I drop this copy of ‘War and Peace’ on your foot?”:

1. Lil’ Jerry And The Sad, Sad Day (In which Jerry Jones watches his Dallas Cowboys blow a 14-point lead at home in the fourth quarter and lose in overtime to, oh my God, the Arizona Cardinals.)

2. Your Indianapolis Colts And The Even Sadder Day (In which the Colts, infested with dry rot, lose 42-7 to the Jaguars, prompting Colts fans to realize their season is over with nine games to play.)

3. The Hungry, Hungry Lion (In which the Detroit Lions, after much scratching and clawing, devour the NFL’s last unbeaten team, the Minnesota Vikings, which causes ancient Dolphins like Larry Csonka to cavort merrily in their Florida home.)

4. Baker And The Rainy Day (In which Baker Mayfield fails to complete a single pass but his Buccaneers beat the Atlanta Falcons anyway in a massive Florida deluge.)

5. Beware! Beware! It’s An Angry Bear!  (In which the Chicago Bears attack Seattle, devour the Space Needle, ravage the Pike Street Market and tear the Seahawks a new one on Monday Night Football, 34-17.)

6. Magic Beans? Magic Beans? (Bleep) Your Magic Beans!  (In which the Pittsburgh Steelers dine as usual on the mysteriously resurgent Cleveland Browns, knocking them down, kicking their schoolbooks into the gutter and, yes, stealing their magic beans.)

7. The Jets! The Jets! What An Awful Mess! (In which the New York Jets lost again, blowing a nine-point third quarter lead at home to the LAs Vegsas Raiders, themselves had lost four straight games.)

8. The Very Happy Bronco (In which the Denver Broncos run wild and free past rival Kansas City as the chiefs blow an 11-point lead in the fourth quarter.

9. The Very Unhappy Chief (See above.)

10. Bengal Joe And The Very Close Call (In which Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati Bengals need overtime at home to beat the, oh my God, Tennessee Titans.