A few brief Thanksgiving thoughts

 Happy Turkeycide Day, Blobophiles -- aka I Couldn't Eat Another Bi-Wait There's Pie? Day, aka Omigod What Did Aunt Myrtle Put In Her Jell-O Mold This Year? Day. May you stuff your faces and then drift off to Tryptophan Land on third-and-11 at the Lions 34.

You might also, because the very day has the word "thanks" in it, make a show of gratitude for the bounty the Lord has provided you. Like, I don't know, FanDuel's cool new "Prison Or Probation?" app for those who've embezzled funds from the company to pay off their Thanksgiving Day FanDuel debts.

What I mean to say is, it's a wonderful life ("Hey! That's a Christmas thing! Wait your turn, you sneaky bastard!" -- Thanksgiving). And so, in that spirit, here are a few things the Blob is thankful for this day:

1. Pie.

2. Pie.

3. MORE PIE.

Oh, and also ...

4. The glory and wonder of NFL officiating.

5. The cleansing endorphins that come from yelling at the glory and wonder of NFL officiating because DAMMIT THAT WAS HOLDING THROW THE FLAG.

6. All the TV commercials that do NOT feature A) Patrick Mahomes; B) Travis Kelce; C) Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce; D) Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Jason Kelce.

7. Stuff that makes me laugh.*

8. (*Such as the unintentional comedy of a convicted felon -- aka our glorious Fearless Leader -- pardoning a turkey.)

9. (*Also all the other unintentional comedy emanating from Glorious Fearless Leader's three-ring circus.)

10. (*Also all those College Football Playoff arguments -- especially ones that begin, "Notre Dame is a joke (because I hate Notre Dame"); "The SEC should get nine bids (because my name is Paul Finebaum)"; and "Who has Indiana beaten, anyway? (because my name is Paul Finebaum)." To amend Mr. Carlson from "WKRP In Cincinnati": No one ever thought THOSE turkeys could fly.)