A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 8

 And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the wellspring of eternal hope of which critics have said, "My eternal hope is that this thing returns to the transfer portal of hell from which it came," and also "Imma drown you in your wellspring if you don't stop":

1. "Hey, look! A wellspring of hope! And in Cincinnati of all places!" (The Jets, who finally got their first win of the season in Cincy)

2. "Hey, look! The transfer portal of hell! And in Cincinnati of all places!" (The Bengals who lost to the Jets 39-38 at home and now will be known for all eternity as the team that lost to the Jets at home)

3. "And gave up 39 points to Justin Fields while doing it!" (An astounded America)

4. In other news, the wellspring of hope kept gushing for the Colts, who pounded the Titans 38-7 as they just keep winning; the resurgent Patriots and Wonderboy quarterback Drake Maye, who disposed of the Browns 32-13; the Chiefs, who demoted the Commanders 28-7 for their third straight win; and, omigod, Mike McDaniel, whose  Dolphins paved the Falcons 34-10 in Atlanta and (presumably) kept Mikey Mac off the unemployment line for another week.

5. "See, I do not either suck!" (McDaniel)

6. "Thought you were rid of us, dincha? Well, we're still here, ya bums! We're still here!" (The Chiefs, laughing maniacally)

7. "You know what? These Colts might actually be halfway decent." (A slow-on-the-uptake America, now that Indy is 7-1 and has scored 38, 38, 31 and 40 points in their last four games, all Ws.)

8. "What about us? We're not exactly chopped liver, ya know!" (The Patriots)

9. "Why, so you aren't!" (America)

10. "But we might be! I mean, just look at this s*** we're wearing!" (The Steelers, who lost to the Packers while dressed in perhaps the most hideous throwback unis ever devised. They looked like 'roided-up Minions)