Jerk of the year

I wouldn't know Piotr Szczerej if he snatched me bald-headed, which by all available evidence he would. But he's exactly the sort of self-absorbed, entitled rich guy who gives other self-absorbed entitled rich guys a bad name.

Szczerej, it seems, is the CEO of a Polish paving company, and last week he almost literally stole candy from a baby. Then he sneered like a self-absorbed, entitled rich guy at everyone who called him on it.

The candy in this case was a hat, which Polish tennis star Kamil Majchrzak was handing to a small boy after a recent match at the U.S. Open. As the boy reached for it, however, Szczerej, an allegedly grown man, leaned over and grabbed it away, leaving the poor kid gaping helplessly with his hands outstretched.

The moment, as pretty much everything is these days, was caught on video. A shitestorm of social media reaction quickly followed, with one poster after another correctly identifying Szczerej as a giant douche. Szczerej then assured himself first-class accommodations in the Giant Douche Hall of Fame by posting a response to his critics fairly brimming with self-absorbed, entitled rich guy hubris.

"Yes, I took it," he bragged. "Yes, I did it quickly. But as I've always said, life is first come, first served ... It's just a hat. If you were faster, you would have it."

He then wrapped up this douche-y gem by threatening to sue anyone online who dared call him ... well, a giant douche.

The Blob's response: Good luck with that, pal. Maybe.

As a big-deal CEO, see, Szczerej is a public figure, and public figures are and always have been fair game for public ridicule in these United States. Or at least they were until the Great And Terrible Oz got himself elected President/Supreme Leader again, and brought the privileged ethos of the gated community to American governance.

In other words, we're Piotr Szczerej's kind of place now. The evidence is a handful of responses to Szczerej's response that actually backed the hat stealer's play, reasoning that it was a teachable moment for the young victim. See, kid? Bein' selfish and grabby ain't wrong. It's how you get ahead in the world.

No, really. A couple of folks actually said that.

Now, this being the world we live in now, the standard caveat must be stated: Not only is it possible the aforementioned posts on the Great Social Media Whatsis might be deep fakes, but Szczerej's might be, too. Anything's possible here in the mad days of 2025, when even the official pronouncements of the Regime sound like badly-written fiction. And frequently are. 

But given that there's visual confirmation of Szczerej's heinous act, his subsequent post  sounds just like a guy who'd steal a kid's hat. In other words, a giant douche.

Sue away, Piotr.