Cupcakin'

 High school football came to Memorial Stadium in Bloomington last night, or at least it seemed so. Those were Friday night lights, after all, America's Institutions of Higher Earning horning in on someone else's turf again. And Indiana University's opponent ...

Well. Far be it from the Blob to besmirch a fine academic institution by calling it Indiana State High School. But the way Curt Cignetti's Hoosiers wolfed down its latest MRE (meal ready to eat), again, made it seem so.

The final score was 73-0, and that's not the half of it. Actually, it sort of is the half of it, because the Hoosiers led 45-0 at halftime and their starters were all but done for the night.

Quarterback Fernando Mendoza, after all, had already passed for five scores and run for another, completing 19-of-20 throws against the helpless Sycamores. Khobie Martin was on his way to a 109-yard rushing night on just 11 carries, just shy of a first down per tote. Omar Cooper Jr. was on his way to a four-touchdown, 10-reception, 207-yard receiving night. 

By the end, Indiana had gobbled up 33 first downs and 680 total yards, 379 in the air and 301 on the ground. Indiana State, meanwhile, had wheezed out just five first downs, 38 yards passing and 77 total yards. The Hoosiers averaged 12.6 yards per pass and 8.1 per rush; the Trees averaged 1.9 yards per pass and 1.3 yards per rush.

You know that scene toward the end of "Stand By Me" where Kiefer Sutherland and his  hoodlum friends beat up on poor Gordie and his grade-school buds? 

That's kind of what this was like. Either that or beating your 6-year-old nephew in basketball.

And, yeah, OK, we all know the economics involved in it. In return for getting tossed around like Raggedy Andy, Indiana State cashed a fat check to keep their athletic department in clover. And Indiana got another feel-good W, although how the Hoosier could feel good about dunking on nephew Joey is a question only they could answer.

The skinny is, they're now 3-0, and none the Hoosiers' three victims has been Ohio State or Texas. Or even Northwestern or Rutgers. Which means we really don't know, a quarter of the season in, if they're actually any good.

And so although I'm well aware of what Indiana State got out of last night, I'm at a loss to tell you what Indiana did. Did any of this cupcakin' in its first three games prepare the Hoosiers for the rigors of the Big Ten, which begins for them next week against Illinois? Might at least one tilt against someone with reasonably equitable talent have perhaps been more beneficial?

You grow your football team on competition. Like Wonder Bread, it helps build strong bodies 12 ways. Also it's part of a balanced breakfast, and a bunch of other marketing slogans I can't recall at the moment.

What I will remember is this: Last year it was the Hoosiers' arch-enemy Purdue who invited Indiana State in for an early-season paycheck game. The Boilermakers pruned the Trees 49-0.

The next week they lost to Notre Dame, 66-7. And proceeded to go 1-11 in Ryan Walters' final season.

Not sayin'. Just sayin'.