Today in parental supervision

 I wouldn't want to be the son of Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator Jeff Ulbrich right now. I bet the kid's been grounded for infinity.

"And no sugary snacks, either!" Ulbrich reportedly said.

OK. Sooo, that's probably not how this all went down.

If you haven't heard, Ulbrich's kid did an epically boneheaded kid thing last week: It seems he made a prank call to Shedeur Sanders' private number as Sanders free-fell during the NFL Draft. Now the NFL has smacked the Falcons with a $250,000 fine, and lightened Jeff Ulbrich's wallet by $100,000 on top of it, for leaking "confidential information" -- i.e., Sanders' number.

Hoo, boy. I'm trying to imagine how my dad would have reacted (or your dad, or anyone's dad) if I not only did something childish and stupid, but so childish and stupid it cost my dad 100K and my dad's place of business 250K. The imagining is not pleasant.

"You did WHAT??" would probably be the first words out of Dad's mouth.

The conversation likely would have slalomed downhill from there, in the process becoming more and more one-sided.

In my head, it plays out like that scene from "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" in which Dr. Evil repeatedly shushes his son Scott. And, OK, so that's probably not how that went down, either.

But I bet it's not far off.

I'm betting, in fact, it might have gone -- might have gone -- kinda-sorta like this:

"You did WHAT??"

"I, um ... I ... well, I swiped Shedeur Sanders' private number from you and prank-called him, pretending to be a team executive who'd just drafted him."

"You did WHAT??"

"I swiped Shedeur Sanders' ...

"I heard you the first time. Good God, why in the name of all that's holy, and several things that aren't, would you do such a boneheaded thing?"

"I dunno. I thought it would be funny."

"FUNNY?! First of all, it's cruel, not funny. I mean, really cruel. What did Shedeur Sanders ever do to you? And didn't your mother and I raise you better?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You GUESS so??"

"I mean, yeah, you did. And I'm sorry. Like, really-really-reeeeally sorry. And I'll pay you back the 100K, no matter how long it takes. And if you get demoted or lose your job because of this, I'll work two or three or four jobs to make up the difference."

"Even if we wind up in Cleveland?"

"Even if we wind up in Cleveland."

"Fine. But pray tell, what are you going to do? That fry cook gig at Happy Burger ain't gonna get it done."

"So I'll get another fry cook job at Lickin' Chicken. And maybe one at that Australian/Tex-Mex fusion place, Burritos On The Barbie. And also ..."

The kid stops.

"Also what?"

"Well ... also, the phone store is hiring. And I hear they pay pretty well."