And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature that never changes except when it changes, and of which critics have said "How about making like a tree and leaving for a change?", and also, "I got a pocketful of change for ya if you just go away":
1. "Gah! We suck again!" (Cowboys fans, after the Lions flame-broiled the Pokes 47-9 in Dallas)
2. "Hooray, we don't!" (Lions fans)
3. Meanwhile, the Patriots!
4. Swapped out Jacoby Brissett for rookie Drake Maye at quarterback. Still lost.
5. "Drake Maye, Doris Day, Earl Grey. Doesn't much matter without Bill-ay." (Patriots fans)
6. (Bill-ay Belichick chuckles, orders more drinks on the beach with his 27-year-old girlfriend)
7. In other news, the Colts beat the Titans (again!). The Browns lost, the Panthers lost, the Giants lost, the Jets lost (even with Aaron Rodgers!). The officiating was standup comedy (eternally!).
8. "Look, guys, we're 4-2!" (The Falcons, the Bears, the Buccaneers)
9. "We were 2-0 once! Well, we were!" (The Saints, who fell to 2-4 after being car-washed at home by the Bucs, 51-27)
10. "Gah! We suck again!" (Cowboys fans, still)
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