Silence is golden, or something

Confessions of an MLB general manager who prefers to remain nameless. (Mainly because I totally made him up):

I talked with Shohei Ohtani the other day. There, I said it.

I said it, and I know my team will be punished for it by Shohei's people, but I don't care. This Cone of Silence they've insisted upon during his free agency is ridiculous. He's the most sought-after star with the most extraordinary skill set since, I don't now, Babe Ruth, probably, but it's a state secret to whom he's talking? To the extent that if anyone he's talked to mentions they've talked to him, Shohei's people will put that team on double secret probation or something?

"Yes, I can confirm we've met with Shohei and his people." (MLB team)

"You're out! Finished at Faber!" (Shohei's people)

That's pretty much the deal here. And, no, I'm not making this up.

Look. I get it. Shohei's an extremely private young man (also an extremely nice young man, by the way). And he's not the first extremely private young man to come down this pike. 

Remember the famously reticent Steve Carlton? That guy wouldn't say poop if he had a mouthful. And because he especially wouldn't say it to the media ... well, you know how the media are. They get all butt-hurt if you won't talk to them, and paint you as some kind of gaping orifice.

That's what they did to Steve Carlton. Now, I have no clue whether or not he actually was a gaping orifice. But he was occasionally portrayed that way, and I've always thought that was kind of unfair to him. 

Fortunately, they haven't done it to Shohei yet -- mainly because they've seen enough of him to know he is, as I said, an extremely  nice young man. And if he's also extremely private about stuff that's considered private by anyone who doesn't strike out 10 and hit two dingers in the same game ... well. That's his right, right?

I mean, when he posed for a magazine photo with his dog, and the media asked what the dog's name was, his people said he wasn't prepared to go public with that information. That was weird as hell, but well within the bounds of propriety.

Who he's talked to during free agency, on the other hand ...

Come on. That's legit news. It's news people might not exactly have a right to know, but they certainly would like very much to know. And by "people", I mean "fans of teams rumored to be interested in him, like, I don't know, the Cubs, for instance, or the Dodgers, or one of those other fat-cat clubs."

Where's the harm in those clubs saying they've talked with Shohei, just as a service to their fan bases? Why should they be punished for that?

Beats me. Maybe it's because Shohei is such an extremely nice young man he doesn't want the teams he turns down to get a raft of crapola from their fan bases, and by keeping those teams a secret he's trying to help them avoid that?

On second thought, nah. Nobody's that nice.

And so, yeah, I'll tell you I talked to him, just as a protest to the Cone of Silence. It's really not much of a sacrifice, because I'll also tell you we didn't have the money to sign him anyway. Ye gods, the man wants the GNP of Switzerland. And I didn't walk into our meeting with Benjamins falling off it like leaves in October.

Oh, and in the interest of completely blowing the deal we never would have had ...

The dog's name is Charlie.

(Just kidding)