From Hell's heart ...

 ... and, yeah, if you've seen "The Wrath of Kahn" or read "Moby Dick," you know the rest of that line: "I stab at thee."

Only now there's a rebuttal from the whales, apparently.

"I stab at thee"? Yeah, well, (BLEEP) YOU. Ahab, you crazy bastard. I'll show you some stabbing-at-thee.

Now, I doubt if whales think in complete sentences like that (although you never know), but what's going on off the coast of Spain and Portugal these days sure sounds a lot like the above.  The killer whales are coming, and they are pissed. In recent months the orcas have taken to ramming dozens of small sailing vessels in the Straits of Gibraltar -- even sinking one -- and this week they rammed two sailboats in The Ocean Race endurance event.

Free Willy, indeed. Also, BLEEP YOU, guys who race sailboats.

The orcas didn't sink the two boats they rammed, which means they didn't get to paint little sailboats on their sides like World War II fighter pilots used to paint Japanese flags on their planes for every Zero they smoked. So at least there's that.

However ...

However, this whole recent ramming-sailboats thing is more than a bit disturbing, seeing how it sounds like the opening act of some sci-fi horror flick.

First came "The Planet of the Apes." Then came "Cocaine Bear." Now, Paramount Pictures brings you nature's most terrifying revenge yet ...

"Ramming Speed!: Attack of the Orcas."

OK. So that's just silly.

But just in case it's not ...

Time to call this guy back from the watery deep.