A W for Rivalry Week

 Well, tie me to a chair and paint me in Rival U.'s colors. Maybe the Big Ten Conference does care a smidgen about something besides television markets and Everests of cash.

The Big Mathematically Challenged rolled out its football plan for 2024 and 2025 yesterday, and they even gave it a name: Flex Protect Plus. Sounds more like an analgesic than a football scheduling plan, but, hey, let the conference up easy here. At least  it's giving tradition a cursory nod in its pursuit of master of the universe status, or whatever it is the conference is pursuing other than Rutgers vs. USC on some autumn Saturday.

The analgesic/plan -- put in place for when USC and UCLA join the party next year, speaking of Not Tradition -- eliminates the current divisions while preserving (protecting?) traditional rivalries. Each school will have two permanent conference opponents, at least one of which is its big rivalry game.

So, Indiana-Purdue will still play for the Old Oaken Bucket every year, and Purdue and Illinois will still play for the Purdue Cannon, and, yep, we'll still get Michigan-Ohio State, Michigan-Michigan State, UCLA-USC and even Minnesota-Wisconsin. What, you thought they were gonna throw the battle for the Paul Bunyan Axe over the side?

(Also, under the new plan, the Floyd of Rosedale game -- Iowa-Minnesota -- will be a permanent deal. Which is a big W for fans of the humble bronze pig that remains the best trophy in college football)

Oh, and USC and UCLA?

Well, in 2024, the Trojans make the trek east to play at Maryland, Northwestern, Penn State and Purdue. UCLA, meanwhile goes all the way east to Rutgers, and also goes to Michigan, Iowa and Indiana.

This means Purdue could have a '67 Heaven Day when USC comes to Ross-Ade, commemorating the year Bob Griese 'n' them whipped the Trojans in the Rose Bowl. The Boilers could wear throwback '67 unis, the cool ones with the numbers on the side of the old-gold helmets. The Purdue band could play selections from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which dropped in '67. And the students could, I don't know, burn their draft cards or something.

It would be glorious.

And in 2025?

Indiana goes west to play USC. 

The Hoosiers lost to the Trojans in the 1968 Rose Bowl. They also lost to them 28-7 the last time they played, in 1982. So maybe it could be Ah, Geez, These Schlubs Again? Day in the Coliseum.

Why, they could even invite O.J. Simpson from the '68 Rose Bowl Tro-

Ooh.

OK. So maybe not.