No book-learnin' allowed

 There are a lot of reasons I don't live in Florida.

I'm not a fan of gators, giant pythons, mosquitoes the size of B-17s and various other outsized creepy-crawlies, to begin with.

Also sharks.

Also jellyfish.

Also crazy ex-presidents, cavalier attitudes toward killer pandemics and sopping humidity for half the year.

I do like history, however. And Florida doesn't.

Florida would rather our schoolkids be taught that Washington really didn't ever tell a lie, and Davy Crockett died swingin' old Betsy at the Alamo, and America is an unblemished place built by unblemished white guys with their unblemished bare hands.

Any book that says different, Florida will pull out of school libraries rather than allow impressionable children to read it. Because that might lead to children perhaps learning about people Florida would rather they not.

People like, say, Roberto Clemente.

Friend of mine posted a news story out of Florida the other day that reported how a Duval County school district (i.e.: Jacksonville) pulled a children's illustrated book about Clemente off the shelves because it mentioned Clemente faced racism when he was coming up as the Hispanic Jackie Robinson. This violates the edict of the Human History Eraser, Florida Gov. Ronald DeSantis, who's decided "wokeness" (whatever he thinks that is) is indoctrinating our children with vile ideas about, you know, equality and stuff.

"Only I get to indoctrinate our children!" sez Eraser Ron.

OK, so he didn't say that, but he might as well have. And it wouldn't provoke any reaction from me other than weary contempt except that this time the symbolic book burners went after the Great One.

If you know me, see, you know I revere Roberto Clemente. I became a Pittsburgh Pirates fan because of him. The den in our home is all but a shrine to him. He was the best rightfielder who ever lived -- don't even go there with me, you'll lose -- and also a humanitarian, a civil rights advocate and a proud Puerto Rican who blazed the hard trail for all the Latin-American players who've enriched baseball since.

He was a hot-damn American hero, is what he was. And his struggle to be accepted in the face of, yes, racism is an integral part of his story.

In Florida, however, that's a part of the story that's verboten for children of a certain age. Might make them feel bad or something.

My position on that is children for whom the book is intended aren't going to feel bad if they learn Roberto Clemente had to overcome racism. They're more likely to feel bad if the school cafeteria replaces Pizza Day with Broccoli Day.

But, sure. Have at it, Florida. 'Cause everyone knows book-learnin' is bad for kids, unless it's book-learnin' approved by Eraser Ron.

God give me strength.