A miracle on West 56th Street ...

 ... in which Indianapolis Colts GM Chris Ballard gets up in front of the media for the last time this season and says he knows he's "failed", but if you fail and you keep trying -- even though failure in the NFL is "not allowed" -- wondrous things can happen.

... in which Jeff Saturday says hell, yes, he's a candidate for the permanent head coaching job, and that he has lots and lots of ideas -- tons of ideas! -- for changing things at the Colts complex on West 56th Street, and never mind that his 1-7 record as interim coach was the worst record for an interim in 22 years.

... in which Ballard says hell, yes, Saturday will be interviewed for the position, and how the decision on the next head coach will be his, and never mind it clearly was owner Jim Irsay's idea to bring in Saturday as interim to begin with.

... in which ... in which ...

Oh, to heck with it.

The only wondrous thing that's going to happen with this bunch now is how wondrously Ballard will screw up their first-round pick, aka the Quarterback Pick. 

And how wondrous will be the changes Jeff Saturday makes after he gets in the room with Ballard and Irsay and convinces them to remove the "interim" from his job title.

And how it will be a miracle on West 56th Street if the Colts can convince anyone competent to take the head coaching job once Anyone Competent discovers what an absolute s***show this franchise is right now.

Colts fans can light votive candles hoping Jim Harbaugh can be convinced to come to Indy, but why would he want to? He'd be taking over a team with an overpriced offensive line that can't block a sunbeam, and with a corps of largely anonymous receivers devoid of a go-to gamebreaker, and with a star running back coming off a high-ankle sprain that shut him down for the last three games of the season.

Also, he'd be taking the job without knowing who his quarterback of the future will be. And with Irsay and Ballard picking that quarterback.

Irsay, who picked an interim coach who oversaw an historic fourth-quarter collapse against Dallas and an historic blown lead against Minnesota in back-to-back games.

Ballard, who admits he's failed but somehow still has his job after saying no one is allowed to fail in the NFL.

Ay-yi-yi.