Programming by a nose

The most exciting sporting event of the weekend, and maybe in the entire history of sporting events going back to the Oogs vs. the Krogs in the first National Fire-Making League championship, was not the epic World Cup final between Argentina and France.

It was the split-second victory of the NFL over, you know, soccer.

What happened, see, was Argentina had a 2-0 lead with 11 minutes to play (Adjusted NFL Score: 27-0), and then Kylian Mbappe scored twice in 90 seconds to tie it for France, and then Lionel Messi scored his second goal of the game to give Argentina a 3-2 lead with 10 minutes left in extra time.

Joy. Pandemonium. All of Argentina (or what seemed like it) weeping and making the stadium sway with their singing over there in Qatar.

And then, with three minutes left in extra time, Mbappe scored again to tie it again.

This sent what was already one of the most astounding finals in history to kicks from the penalty mark. And after France, notoriously mediocre at PKs, was denied by Argentine keeper Emi Martinez and fired wide on two of their first three, reserve defender Gonzalo Montiel punched home the PK that made Messi a World Cup champion and set all of Argentina to weeping and singing again.

Something similar surely happened in the Fox studios.

Because a mere minute or so after Montiel's ball hit the back of the net, the clock hit 1 p.m. Eastern in the United States. And an on-time start of another Very Important NFL Sunday was ensured.

A photo finish, if you will. Programming, by a nose. Gonzalo Montiel for the win in both Qatar and sports bars all over the U.S., because Football America got to see the opening kickoff of Eagles-Bears and not more soccer.

It really did happen in the blink of an eye, so much so it was almost comical. One second you were watching Messi hugging every teammate and every French player, for that matter; the next, we were in frigid Chicago -- strengthless December sunlight pouring down, a kicker teeing up the ball, alien creatures in helmets and pads chuffing frozen breath through their facemasks like fire-breathing dragons.

From the Beautiful Game to Bear Weather, just like that. From artistry or something like it to the industrial crucible of the NFL, where the game is all blood and iron and no place for the faint of heart.

There's never been a sports moment quite like it. Nothing else that happened over the weekend stole your breath and your equilibrium in quite the same way.

The World Cup final came close, of course. For 78 minutes it was all Argentina, and then it wasn't, and after that everyone was hanging on for dear life. The measure of any great soccer match is not how much scoring there is but how many scoring opportunities there are, and for the  last 12 minutes of regulation and then 30 minutes of extra time, this was virtually all opportunity.

It was an assault on both goalkeepers even long-time observers of the game could scarcely remember seeing, a display of sustained attack whose fury produced multiple near misses. When it was done, Messi had scored two of Argentina's three goals, Mbappe had singlehandedly kept France alive with the first hat trick in a Cup final in 56 years, and everyone was limp.

And then, a couple of minutes later ...

Justin Fields! Jalen Hurts! Windchills!  

Which continued an NFL weekend that was in itself epic. 

Nine games were decided by a touchdown or less. Three went overtime. A Bill Belichick team made perhaps the dumbest play anyone ever saw to lose to the Raiders; the Vikings pulled off the greatest comeback in NFL history, and the Colts the greatest choke; Tom Brady lost an eighth game in one season for the first time in his career while blowing a 17-point lead for the first time in his career. 

And, of course, the League made its start time. With mere seconds to spare.

Now that's a weekend.