Betcha can't

We all love to make fun of California. As a friend of mine once observed, it's like the country's on a 30-degree tilt to the west, and all the loose nuts roll down and collect there.

A commie hellhole, the unhinged right calls it, throwing around a word they can rarely define. The land of wine spritzers, fern restaurants and the California-Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. Why, you're not even allowed to pick on trans people there, for God's sake. 

And, as of this morning, blowing a pile on goofy college kids and feckless professionals is still limited.

Californians went to the polls Tuesday and overwhelmingly rejected a ballot initiative that would have greatly expanded sports betting in the state. The online gambling industry -- now a cozy bedfellow with the NBA, NFL and MLB -- went full monty on this, throwing wads of cash at California in support of the measure. Between that industry and Native American casino operators, $600 million went toward convincing Californians that, like 30 other states, it was time to climb aboard the sports betting train.

They might as well have taken all that cash to Malibu and thrown it in the ocean.

California said no to the madness, raising doubts about the loose nuts theory of state demographics. So, for now at least, you still can only legally bet in Cali at Native American casinos, horse tracks and card rooms, and in the state lottery.

I don't imagine that will last, given the enormous weight of the online gambling industry. I also don't imagine California, law or no law, can do much to stop the guy at the sports bar from placing bets on his phone.

I know a few guys who do that. They not only place wagers on the outcome of games, but on the outcome of specific possessions. There literally isn't any aspect so granular that you can't place a bet on it these days with some of these online sites.

I find that a trifle weird, to be honest. But, hey, whatever revs your engine.

I just don't get the thought process behind putting a wad on the nose of some 19-year-old with a bazooka arm or feathery jumper. I remember what I was like when I was 19, see. And I would sooner have Steve Buscemi-ed my dough in a wood chipper than bet it on what I would do next.

I also find it bizarre that Big Sportsball is now such an eager partner with DraftKings, FanDuel, BetMGM and all the other 21st-century Arnold Rothsteins they for decades regarded as evil incarnate. It's a scandal waiting to happen, and don't think it isn't.

But for now?

For now I'll just open this story here about Pete Rose.

Rose, of course, was banished to outer darkness by MLB for being a degenerate gambler who bet on his own team (and perhaps against it, who knows). But now comes this post from Sports Knightly Baseball: "Pete Rose will place the first bet at the new sportsbook at the Hard Rock Casino Cincinnati on Jan. 1, 2023."

Pro tip: Turns out you really CAN laugh out loud, roll your eyes and shake your head at the same time.