Your completely catty post for today

 They say if you live long enough nothing will eventually surprise you, because if you haven't seen everything by a certain point you've at least heard about it. This is especially true for me these days, having seen a President Donald Trump and some of the nitwits he's helped get elected to Congress.

Once upon a time Congress was Daniel Webster and William Jennings Bryan and Margaret Chase Smith. Now it's Marjorie Taylor Greene, last seen predicting on her podcast that straight people would be extinct in 50 or so years.

Lord give me strength.

And also, thank the Lord I can still be surprised at my advanced age, because something happened in England the other day that made me say "Now I've finally seen everything."

What happened was, a professional athlete got sentenced to 180 hours of community service.

For kicking his cat.

Yes, it's true. Kurt Zouma, a defender for West Ham in the Premier League, was sentenced in Thames Magistrates Court after pleading guilty to two counts of "causing unnecessary suffering to protected animals" -- the protected animal in this case being his cat, which Zouma is caught on video punting across the room, slapping and pelting with shoes.

"Why would someone videotape that, Mr. Blob?" you're asking now.

And the answer is, "Because it's 2022 and everyone videotapes everything."

In any event, Zouma now joins Michael Vick in the Athletes Who Are S***heads To Animals Hall of Fame, and he's banned from owning cats for the next five years. This is not nearly long enough in the Blob's estimation. I'm a dog person, but I also have a soft spot for cats, and I think the ban should be for life. I also think someone should periodically punt Zouma across the room, slap him and throw shoes at him, but that's just me.

(Actually, what I really think is Zouma should be dropped into a pit of feral cats with sharp claws who are really, really pissed. The court could decree how much blood loss would be a suitable amount.)

(Also, he gets a year's hard labor cleaning especially gross catboxes. Sounds right to me.)