Portal of justice

 Because the Blob's mind follows its own funky channels, I think of "Star Trek" when I hear the words "transfer portal."

"Transfer portal" equates to "transporter" for me. And, like Dr. McCoy, I think they're both crazy ways to travel.

One spreads a man's or woman's molecules all over space, as Bones said.

The other spreads the college basketball wealth to an absolute fault -- the NCAA having finally allowed players to do what carpetbagging coaches do all the time, which is leave whenever the hell they feel like it.

Case in point: What's happening at LSU right now.

Which is at once the worst thing about the transfer portal, and also the best.

It's the worst thing because every scholarship player on the roster has entered the portal and is getting out of Dodge, or at least Baton Rouge. And it's the best thing because the reason they're doing it is the fact LSU's now-former coach, Will Wade, is a cheating dirtbag whose actions are about to land the program in NCAA Shawshank.

That the transfer portal facilitates wholesale flight from these circumstances stinks for new head coach Matt McMahon, of course.  But it also means there are more ready consequences for cheaters and those who tolerate them. 

Which LSU did, because Wade was winning basketball games.

Now they're paying the price with a ghost-town program more radioactive than Chernobyl.

The transfer portal is in great measure responsible for that. And if the freedom of movement it accords players proves an extra deterrent for schools disposed to trade the NCAA's wrath for Ws, it will at least have served some purpose other than sowing chaos.

Or so one can hope.