Go. Figure.

 I should know by now, I suppose. Thirty-eight years wallowing around as a professional sports wallower ought to have taught me something, don't ya think?

Apparently not. Because it still shocks me what a bunch of frat boy pranksters the sports gods are.

See what happened to Your Purdue Boilermakers last night?

They went up to Ann Arbor as the No, 3 team in the country, having just annihilated Big Ten frontrunner Illinois in a manner that had people whispering Final Four. Why, just look at their two-headed lab experiment in the middle, Zach-Trevion Edey-Williams! Can't stop 'em with a bazooka! And if Jaden Ivey isn't the best player in the country .. well, what have you been smokin', sonny?

And then they went up to Ann Arbor, like we said.

And Michigan stuck 'em in a bucket of Mr. Clean, wrung 'em out and mopped the floor with 'em.

Beat 'em 82-58, the Wolverines did. Shot 51.6 from the floor and 12-of-21 from the 3-point arc, a ridiculous 57.1 percent clip. Outrebounded the Purdues 35-25.

The Wolverines put all five starters in double figures, led by center Hunter Dickinson -- who got 22 points and nine boards and fought the two-headed lab experiment to a draw all by himself. And Jaden Ivey?

Well, he did lead Purdue with 18 points. Wasn't exactly the 26-point, four-rebound, six-assist masterwork he put together in the 84-68 mauling of the Illini, though.

The loss, Purdue's first since Jan. 20, dropped Purdue from first to third in the Big Ten. And no doubt triggered a stomach-dropping bootlegger's turn from the prisoner-of-the-moment crowd.

Two days ago, after beating Illinois by 16: Purdue? They play like that, they'll be in the Final Four. Maybe win the whole schmear.

This morning, after losing to Michigan by 24: Purdue? They play like that, they won't get out of the first weekend.

And somewhere, the sports gods laugh and laugh. They do love them some whiplash.