No Gurlz (Or Non-Players) Allowed

There are hardy perennials in Sportsball World, and one of them bloomed again this week. Bring on the You Never Played The Game brigade, boys and girls!

This time the brigade's point man was rockhead ex-quarterback Jeff Garcia, winging in  from 1955 to shake his bony fist and tell those damn Gurlz they were Not Allowed. That's because ESPN's NFL analyst Mina Kimes, a Gurl, said this week the 49ers have made it this far despite the play of quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, who has been ... well, less than spectacular.

I mean, what else would you call 303 yards, no touchdowns and two interceptions in two playoff games so far? What else would you call quarterbacking an offense that generated zero, none, zilch-o TDs in the Niners' 13-10 win over the Packers last week?

Stellar?

 Well, Garcia seems to think Kimes had no right to point that out. And why? Because she never played the game. And if you didn't play the game, you've got no right to criticize anyone who does play the game -- especially if you're, you know, a woman.

Several of Kimes's colleagues immediately jumped to her defense, which of course got the Sportsball Neanderthals all butt-hurt. One of them, some dude named Bobby Burrack on some platform called OutKick, accused them of "shielding" her from criticism merely because they defended her, and claimed (as certain men invariably do) that Garcia's rant wasn't sexist.

Which begs a couple of questions, naturally.

First of all, if Kimes was being "shielded" from criticism, how come EVERYONE ON THE FREAKING INTERWHATSIT saw that criticism? And by going after Kimes's defenders, aren't the Bobby Burracks of the webiverse trying to "shield" Garcia from criticism?

That's a horse that pulls two ways, it seems to me.

And the other question?

If Garcia's criticism of Kimes wasn't sexist, why single her out? After all, dozens of male-type people who Never Played The Game have been saying the same things. What, he just went alphabetically or something?

Look. Mina Kimes needs no help from the Blob. She's gotten where she's gotten because she's smart and perceptive and she works her ass off. She's a summa cum laude graduate of Yale who cut her journalistic teeth as an award-winning business reporter before coming ESPN in 2014 from Bloomberg. 

I'd say someone with that resume could figure out a few things about football. But what do I know?

See, I Never Played The Game, either. Or Coached The Game. But you know how I always responded when people pulled that card on me?

"You're right, I didn't play or coach the game. But what I know about it (football, basketball, etc.) I learned from people who did. So if you're saying I don't know anything about it, they must not either."

Which brings us back, sort of, to the "shielding" of Mina Kimes, and who was doing the shielding.

One of the shielders, see, said this a few weeks back when another No Gurlz Allowed type went after Kimes: "Absolute trash. Mina is fantastic at her job and has earned everything she has at ESPN. I can also tell you that I have reached out to Mina a number of times so that she could teach me about the use of analytics in football."

The "shielder" who said that?

Jeff Saturday.

As in, "Six-time Pro Bowl center, four-time All-Pro and Super Bowl XLI winner with the Indianapolis Colts." That Jeff Saturday.