And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the stubbornly resistant Blob feature that refuses to to go away, like the Bastard Plague, and of which critics have said "Dammit! What variant is this?", and also "Oh, great, now we got Week 15 of this thing, just in time for Christmas!":
1. "Oh, great, Monday before Christmas and we get the Bears and the Vikings on Monday Night Football! Thanks for the coal, Santa Goodell!" (America)
2. "Oh, great, it's Tuesday, and Week 15 still isn't over yet! Come on!" (Also America)
3. "Hey, wait a minute! It's Tuesday! Why are we playing on Tuesday?" (The Rams, the Seahawks, the Eagles, the Washington Football Team)
4. "And we still suck!" (The Seahawks, the Washington Football Team)
5. "And our owner is still a corrupt, misogynist a**hole!" (The Washington Football Team's fans)
6. And in other news, Jared Goff!
7. Completed 21-of-26 passes for 216 yards, three touchdowns and a passer rating of 139.7 in the Lions' shocking 30-12 upset of the Cardinals.
8. And then tested positive for the 'rona because, you know, it's the Lions and they can't have nice things.
9. But at least Tom Brady didn't get shut out at home by the .500 Saints!
10. Oh ... wait ...
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