A frightful tale

 "Ye don't wanna go in there, sonny," said the old man, scarred and stooped, staring at the stalwart younger man with his remaining blue eye.

The stalwart younger man merely adjusted his navy cap with the yellow "M" and drew himself up tall.

"I'm not afraid, old-timer!" he declared. "I'm Jim Harbaugh, and we're Meeee-chigan! We're not afraid o' no ghosts!"

The old man uttered a chuckle that screeched like a rusty hinge.

"Fine, sonny fine!" he cackled. "Go on in! They're ain't nothin' in there waitin' for ye! Nothin' but a lot of them green meanies that come out when the moon rides a night sky blacker 'n' the devil's soul! You'll see! Youuuu'll see!"\

But stalwart younger man merely laughed, tugged at his cap again and marched into brooding old Spartan Stadium, looming like a ruined House on a Hill, or maybe a Hotel in the Rockies, or maybe a certain Abandoned House in Haddonfield, Ill. ...

And, well, we know what happened.

The stalwart younger man, name of Jim Harbaugh, took his Meee-chigan Wolverines in there, and they were up 30-14 in the third quarter and rolling -- Haunted! Ha! -- and then ...

And then Kenneth Walker III started to run, sifting in and out among the Meee-chigans like a sudden chill in the air.

He ran for a touchdown. He ran for another touchdown. He was there one second and then gone in the Spartan Stadium gloom, and suddenly it was 30-22, and then it was 30-30, and then Harbaugh inexplicably pulled his quarterback, Cade McNamara, who'd thrown for 383 yards and two touchdowns, replacing him with  freshman J.J. McCarthy.

Who promptly fumbled, and Michigan State recovered. Walker scored again. And suddenly it was 37-33, and Jim Harbaugh, that stalwart younger man, had lost to the Spartans again, and Michigan State was 8-0 while the Meee-chigans were 7-1.

Later, as Harbaugh and his players trudged out of the brooding ruined House or Hotel or Abandoned House ...

"I told ye! the old man cackled, as the stalwart younger man stumbled past him, his proud hat now drooping sadly. "I told ye the green meanies would be waiting for ye! I told ye not to go in there, din't I?"

The stalwart younger man stopped. He lifted his head and glared.

"Shut up," he snapped. "Who are you, anyway?"

Another rusty-hinge cackle.

"Why, my name is Duffy, son!" the old man replied. "Duffy Daugherty! And (BLEEP) MICHIGAN!"

And with one last cackle, he turned and ambled back into Spartan Stadium . As he passed through the gates, he became a wisp of smoke, and then a smudge in the gloom, and then he was gone.

It was a long time before the stalwart younger man stopped screaming.